IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not enough physical exercise. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures are there to this problem?

#doctors #people #today’s #world #exercise #pressures #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Regular exercise is essential in maintaining a healthy body. It is a fact that nowadays a large number of
people
 do not have sufficient physical activities. There are several reasons for
such
 a situation. The main two reasons are
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 sedentary
work
 and poor diet. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both aspects in the ensuring paragraphs with
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
. Discussing the reasons, the most common one is sedentary jobs.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
maximum
Add an article
the maximum
show examples
 number of
people
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
work
 from home due to
hybrid
Correct article usage
the hybrid
show examples
 culture.
However
, these companies saving
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a large
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of expenses while compromising
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
health
 of their employees.
For instance
, if an employee
working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
 from home it seems suitable but they have to
work
 more than normal shifts. In
this
 case how the person will get some time for his fitness. By
this
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mean,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
companies should allow their employees to take 2-3 breaks, which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 2 long breaks, where they can add some activities for their
health
.
Furthermore
, it is
also
 a
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of the employer to take care of their
workers
Change noun form
worker's
workers'
show examples
 mental and physical
health
. Another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 less activity in humans
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 poor diet.
Food
 plays an important role in the development of both mental and physical
health
. The foremost effect is seen in young
people
 who are not
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
food
 as well as they add fast
food
 and
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
 products in their daily meal.
Moreover
,
this
 kind of meal
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them lazy and unfit.
For example
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
boy consumes
breads
Change the wording
bread
pieces of bread
loaves of bread
slices of bread
show examples
, soft drinks, fried foods etc on
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
 basis he will gain weight because of
fatty
Add an article
the fatty
a fatty
show examples
 body he feels heavy and even
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 walk. In
this
Correct your spelling
scenario
Correct your spelling
scenario
scenerio
Add a comma
,scenerio
show examples
 the government should increase the tax percentages on
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of foods so
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 children or young
people
 will think before buying them.
Thus
, to conclude the topic it can be
finally
 commented that sedentary
work
 life and consumption of fast
food
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 bad effects on
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body. So we would add more breaks for employees and increase the tax percentages for the
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 as a suggestion. These are the possible solutions for the above problem of
Correct your spelling
decrease
Correct article usage
a decreas
show examples
decreas
Correct your spelling
decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 physical activity in humans.
Submitted by manchanda.kartikey on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: