IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Describe a fear you had to overcome. How did you overcome it?

In my opinion, a significant and common emotion present in everyone's lives is the “
Fear
Use synonyms
”.
Fear
Use synonyms
 could have various reasons, which depend on
person
Use synonyms
 to
person
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as some being afraid of mountain-climbing, swimming, going out, riding a bike, and many more.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 many ways to overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue. I am a happy-going
person
Use synonyms
 anyway, but yes, sometimes I
also
Linking Words
 have a
fear
Use synonyms
, and it is a
fear
Use synonyms
 of
communication
Use synonyms
 whenever I get a chance to socialize with
others
Use synonyms
. Being a little bit of an introvert type of
person
Use synonyms
; I feel happy doing my own stuff
such
Linking Words
 as reading books, watching TV, cooking, singing, gardening etc. whenever I go out and meet with other people, I feel hesitant to talk with them. And whenever there is a talk with
others
Use synonyms
, I try to finish it as soon as possible. Sometimes, I
also
Linking Words
 get conscious of my behaviour, while having
communication
Use synonyms
 with
others
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, I used to think
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
 I am talking in the right manner or not.
However
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 realized that the habit of communicating less sometimes is not good, since, it has
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of benefits and it helps in making good friends too, so I always keep trying to enhance my
communication
Use synonyms
 skills. To improve
this
Linking Words
, I try to get involved in talks more than earlier and joined classes for group discussion, which helped me in improving. After one month of the classes, I have seen a lot of improvement in
me
Correct pronoun usage
myself
show examples
. Now I do not feel any hesitation in talking to
others
Use synonyms
, even to strangers
also
Linking Words
. The best part is now I always try to initiate a discussion, which is amazing for me. In conclusion, I can say that, yes, I faced a
fear
Use synonyms
 of
communication
Use synonyms
 with
others
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, by practising daily and focusing on the improvement I have overcome
this
Linking Words
 feeling. Now, I feel like a confident and positive
person
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: