An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#people #development

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These days, many

people

Use synonyms

especially youngsters

tent

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tend

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purchasing

Wrong verb form

purchase

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many things by online shopping. I strongly believe that

this

Linking Words

way is more beneficial than other ways which related to saving time and

protect

Wrong verb form

protecting

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our environment.

First

Linking Words

of all, tent

Change preposition

apply

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purchasing online shopping

save

Correct subject-verb agreement

saves

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our time. At

this

Linking Words

moment, we are living with technology and our

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

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life style

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lifestyle

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is becoming

change

Wrong verb form

changing

show examples

and

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show examples

easier. There are many applications on our mobile

phone

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phones

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and laptop which we can buy everything that we need.

For example

Linking Words

, we can compare and buy clothes, shoes or other things

with

Change preposition

show examples

high quality that

are not existed

Change to the active voice

do not exist

have not existed

show examples

in our country from other countries or continents. Another reason, that I insist

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show examples

buying from online shopping is

decrease

Add an article

a decrease

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traffic

jam

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jams

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crowded

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a crowded

the crowded

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city

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cities

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. If many

people

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trust

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apply

show examples

online shopping, they do not go out

with

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show examples

taxi, bus,

own

Correct word choice

or own

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car. So there are not many cars

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show examples

the streets and highways, and we can protect our environments by do not make use of fuels.

However

Linking Words

, some

people

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especially elderly

people

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claim that online shopping has some disadvantages. They said that there are many fraudsters in online shopping.

Therefore

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, they cannot trust it and buying

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment for them. To solve

this

Linking Words

problem, they can be buying from some stories

which

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in which

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they bought something before. In conclusion, many youngsters

prefer

Add the particle

toprefer

show examples

stay home and search

something

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for something

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that they wanted and buy it quickly

hence

Linking Words

they save their time.

Moreover

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, they protect our environment by staying home.

Although

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

cannot trust

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online shopping, I strongly assert that

use

Wrong verb form

using

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online shopping is more helpful for our

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

Submitted by fatemezand1990 on Mon Jun 20 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instant gratification
rapid advancement
instant communication
online shopping
fast food delivery
social media platforms
immediate feedback
recognition and validation
efficiency
productivity
convenience
decreased patience
delayed gratification
realistic expectations
work ethic
unrealistic expectations
stress
dissatisfaction

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An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future all cars ,buses and trucks will be driver less.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driver less vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching TV influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In order to cover the increasing cost of expenses, more and more people work very long shifts and have two or more jobs. give your opinion whether the advantages of working very long hours or having more than one job outweigh the disadvantages.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?