An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#people #development

These days, many

people

especially youngsters

tent

Correct your spelling

tend

show examples

purchasing

Wrong verb form

purchase

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many things by online shopping. I strongly believe that

this

way is more beneficial than other ways which related to saving time and

protect

Wrong verb form

protecting

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our environment.

First

of all, tent

Change preposition

apply

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purchasing online shopping

save

Correct subject-verb agreement

saves

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our time. At

this

moment, we are living with technology and our

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

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life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

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is becoming

change

Wrong verb form

changing

show examples

and

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show examples

easier. There are many applications on our mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

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and laptop which we can buy everything that we need.

For example

, we can compare and buy clothes, shoes or other things

with

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show examples

high quality that

are not existed

Change to the active voice

do not exist

have not existed

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in our country from other countries or continents. Another reason, that I insist

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buying from online shopping is

decrease

Add an article

a decrease

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traffic

jam

Fix the agreement mistake

jams

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crowded

Add an article

a crowded

the crowded

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city

Fix the agreement mistake

cities

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. If many

people

trust

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apply

show examples

online shopping, they do not go out

with

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taxi, bus,

own

Correct word choice

or own

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car. So there are not many cars

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the streets and highways, and we can protect our environments by do not make use of fuels.

However

, some

people

especially elderly

people

claim that online shopping has some disadvantages. They said that there are many fraudsters in online shopping.

Therefore

, they cannot trust it and buying

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment for them. To solve

this

problem, they can be buying from some stories

which

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in which

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they bought something before. In conclusion, many youngsters

prefer

Add the particle

toprefer

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stay home and search

something

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for something

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that they wanted and buy it quickly

hence

they save their time.

Moreover

, they protect our environment by staying home.

Although

some

people

cannot trust

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online shopping, I strongly assert that

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

online shopping is more helpful for our

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

Submitted by fatemezand1990 on Mon Jun 20 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

270 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

New technology has changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

more and more people tend to procrastinate in tasks these days. Some people think procrastination is the prime reason for the failure in life. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays education quality is very low. Some people think we should encourage our students to evaluate and criticise their teachers others believe that it will result in a loss of respect and disciyin the classroom. Discuss both the sides.

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?