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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many sports players advertise sport-related products. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

With the popularity of
sports
Use synonyms
 celebrities,
sports
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 goods
companies
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 are now inclined to promote their
products
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 through them.
Although
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this
Linking Words
 trend has many advantages in terms of
tremendous
Add an article
the tremendous
a tremendous
show examples
 increase in the sale of
such
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products
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 and a good source of income for
sports
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players
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, its disadvantages
such
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 as
promotion
Correct article usage
the promotion
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 of
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 and high
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 can not be ignored at all.
To begin
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 with, since the main benefit of
sports
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 product manufacturers is to increase their sales, the market value of
sports
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players
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 is used by
such
Linking Words
companies
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 for
this
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. To cite an example, a painstaking survey conducted by The Guardian newspaper in March
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 2015 clearly revealed that there was a 35% increase in the sales observed by
sports
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 goods suppliers because their
products
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 were endorsed by renowned
sports
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 icons. To explain, these
sports
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 celebrities have many followers who often purchase their promoted
products
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 and
this
Linking Words
 certainly gives financial benefits to the related
companies
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.
In addition
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,
sports
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players
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 get a huge amount from these
companies
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 which they may use in many ways
such
Linking Words
 as developing athletic academies or for their own. On the other side,
such
Linking Words
 a phenomenon can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 people because
such
Linking Words
companies
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 can supply
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 in the name of famous
sports
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players
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. According to a report, 13 major
companies
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 had been closed due to low standards of their
products
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 and all
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
companies
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 were promoted by big
sports
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 personalities. In many cases, people who purchase
such
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products
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 may observe problems as well as accidents.
Moreover
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, when
companies
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 hire big
sports
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 stars to promote their
products
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, they demand a huge amount of money which ultimately hikes the price of
such
Linking Words
 goods. To conclude, due to
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 influence of
sports
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 icons in society,
sports
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Use synonyms
products
Change the noun form
product
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 manufacturers are rapidly interested in appointing
sports
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players
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 for the promotion of their
products
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. It is unequivocal that
such
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 an approach is advantageous for
companies
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 and
players
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 but not beneficial for customers as discussed above.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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