IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to the regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industry #move #areas #centres #outweight
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According to
some
Add a comma
,some
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 the are benefits for industries and companies to move to suburbs. In my opinion,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of
this
Linking Words
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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definitely
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages. There are possible drawbacks for businesses of moving outside cities
such
Linking Words
 as the costs of
this
Linking Words
 move and possible infrastructure loss. Moving
the
Correct article usage
a
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 large
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturer
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to
Change preposition
apply
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anywhere is a huge cost itself, and if we count possible logistic risks we will see for sure the cost rise. If we consider a factory which takes needed materials from the city,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
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 the waste recycling plant which takes waste from the city, we see that logistic costs increase depending on how far it will be located. Another example is a clothes factory which takes fabric from the textile production nearby. Despite
minor
Correct article usage
the minor
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 disadvantages above, from the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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perspective
Add a comma
,perspective
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 the advantages definitely
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
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such
Linking Words
 as pollution production, mitigation of water contamination and subsequent litigations which can cause huge budget deprivation.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we take a waste recycling plant for the example above and imagine that something went wrong and a plant has suddenly started to contaminate surrounding water pumps which
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to human diseases the company will go
to
Change preposition
into
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bankruptcy
Replace the word
bankrupt
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 and the owner will possibly get to prison. So
Linking Words
such
Correct your spelling
much
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 risk mitigation is important and the profit of moving companies far from urban areas makes sense. In conclusion, there are advantages
such
Linking Words
 as pollution, human safety and other
risks
Change the noun form
risk
show examples
 mitigation which
are definitely costs
Change the verb form
definitely cost
show examples
 moving to regional areas despite money lost to logistics.
Submitted by vktory45 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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