IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #positions #decisions #business #employees #process
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In recent years, along with the booming business, the importance of equity has aroused people's attention. Some people believe that employees should be involved in making
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a decision
the decision
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decision
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decisions
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 while others believe that only people
of
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in
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 senior positions should be held accountable. In my opinion, I believe salaried
staffs
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staff
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 should be included in the company's
decision making
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decision-making
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 process for the following reasons. Admittedly, senior managers normally are knowledgeable and rich in work experience, so they can make
right
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the right
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 decisions maximising
benefits
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the benefits
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 of enterprises.
However
Linking Words
,
engagement
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the engagement
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 of employees is more important to the
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existence
existance
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existence
 and prosperity of
business
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a business
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. Taking into consideration the opinions of
staffs
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staff
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 enables managers to make a balanced decision. It could prevent supervisors from sacrificing the welfare of
its
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their
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 team members and
conflits
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conflicts
conflict
 within the company. Ultimately,
such
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 practice guarantees the integrity of a company and
harmonious
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a harmonious
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 relationship between managers and
its
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their
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 subordinates.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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