IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is widely known that currently many food and drinks contain a high level of
sugar
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 that can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 problems, some
people
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 believe to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem sugary products should be made more expensive. I totally understand
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 argument.
However
Linking Words
, I completely disagree because
to make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
people
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 consume less
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sugar
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 isn't only about the
price
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 but the
self awareness
Add a hyphen
self-awareness
show examples
.
Body
to encourage
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Encouraging
show examples
people
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 to consume less
sugar
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 by
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the
price
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugary
product
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 isn't
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 wise decision. The main problem is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
Use synonyms
people
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people's
show examples
awareness
Replace the word
aware
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 of their
health
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 condition so they can reduce
the
Change the word
their
show examples
consume
Replace the word
consumption
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 of
sugar
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.
For
Linking Words
instance
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,instance
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 when
people
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knowing
Wrong verb form
know
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 their
sugar
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 blood rates they will be aware of the food ingredient of the
product
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 and consume less
sugar
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product
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. Increasing the
price
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 of
sugary
Add an article
the sugary
show examples
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 might be easy to implement but isn't
longer
Replace the word
long
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 lasting if the
people
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 still ignored their
health
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condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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.
Conclusion
To summarize eating
sugar
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 may increase someone's sense of fulfilment.
However
Linking Words
, consuming a lot of
sugar
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 may harm your
health
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 conditions. Encouraging
people
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 to consume less is more than just a
price
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 it
also
Linking Words
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
education
Change the article
the education
show examples
 to increase
self awareness
Add a hyphen
self-awareness
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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