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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe, that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In today’s world,
children
Use synonyms
 are going
different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
 places for education, while most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Add an article
the children
show examples
 are staying at
Use synonyms
Add an article
the hostel
a hostel
show examples
hostel
Fix the agreement mistake
hostels
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. It is argued that
hostel
Use synonyms
 life is best for
children
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 to
growing
Change the form of the verb
grow
show examples
 up and
child
Use synonyms
 learn
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 practical lesson of life, while
this
Linking Words
 lesson never able to learn at home. There are so many negative outcomes than positive, so
this
Linking Words
 essay disagrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 easily
falling
Wrong verb form
fall
show examples
 into bad habits,
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 behaviour and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 proper user their
time
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Children
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 are staying at
Use synonyms
hostel
Add an article
the hostel
a hostel
show examples
, while there are easily falling
in
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into
show examples
 bad habits. Bad
person’s
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people
show examples
 targeted
children
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from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 selling drugs, heroines etc because there are very easily
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
 drugs dealer
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
 a drug for free and for doing
this
Linking Words
for
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as
show examples
habit
Correct article usage
a habit
show examples
 after they
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 prices for them.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
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in a
show examples
report published by BBC
news
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News
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, In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 around 70%
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children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
 are taking drugs.
Also
Linking Words
, the effect on
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 health and its change the behaviour.
Children
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lying
Wrong verb form
lie
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 about money
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taking from parents and
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 become rude.
Body paragraph 2
Not only falling
in
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into
show examples
 bad things
also
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 are not utilising their
time
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 for education.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are always playing different games and not studying because of that
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 poor
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
. A study conducted by Oxford
university
Change the capitalization
University
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
published that around 80%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
user
Replace the word
use
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 education. I am never sending my
child
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
hostel
Add an article
the hostel
a hostel
show examples
 because of
this
Linking Words
 negative impact.
Conclusion
In conclusion, falling into bad habits, changing their actions and not
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
 in
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 ways and I,
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
, believe that
hostel
Use synonyms
 life is not suitable for
Use synonyms
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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