IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, young people like to live on their own or live with their friends after finishing school. Some think it is a good idea. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #friends #school #think #idea
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been known that in some countries, youngsters prefer to live independently surrounded by their friends after graduation, and
that is
 thought to be a wonderful thing. I completely agree with
this
 choice for the importance of independence, growth development and maintaining self-confidence. These three backbones complement each other which leads people
Change preposition
to
show examples
adolescence to a higher level of self-sufficiency.
To begin
 with,
children
 need to live with their friends to build up a sense of strength and have the habit of doing their tasks without the urge to ask for help from parents or relatives.
Also
, living with a companion teaches people several lessons like being cooperative in cleaning the house, cooking and washing the dishes.
In addition
, responsibility is another vital factor in everyone’s life and by living with someone; you construct the attitude of being responsible,
for instance
; when renting an apartment and have in mind the date of your rent payment so automatically, you must pay for the bill.
Moreover
, when
children
 graduated from school, they do like to be free and implement that by moving to a different home or sharing an apartment with a close friend. That proves these
children
 improving and developing self-maturity through moving forward into a better life by being in control of their personal life. BBC News showed in a report published recently that
children
 who live with their friends can achieve a higher level of education in a short period of time. In conclusion, it is extremely important for kids to live with a friend rather than living with their parents after finishing school. I strongly agree with
this
 idea because it helps in the
children
's development, and growth and establishes a strong discipline to reach the significant stage of education.
Submitted by maryam.shacker on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: