Many criminal commits further crimes as soon as they are released from the prison. What do you think causes of this ? What effect this have on the society ?

#crimes #prison #effect #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is not unusual for

Add an article

a criminal

show examples

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

to break laws again when they just come out of prison. I think there are several factors

Correct your spelling

attributed

atrributed

Correct your spelling

attributed

this

Linking Words

and the government could act more to mitigate

this

Linking Words

problem.

Firstly

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the criminal does not have the latest skills that enterprises or private sectors are looking for or

there's

Change the verb form

there are

show examples

some companies that just do not want to employ people with a criminal record.

This

Linking Words

could lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

high proportion of

umployment

Correct your spelling

unemployment

employment

among them.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they have the tendency to commit crimes again.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the social life of the criminal is likely to be distorted

with

Change preposition

show examples

the long time away from their families and friends, who tend to have a distant relationship with them after they are released.

This

Linking Words

will have a negative impact on their sense of belonging to

society

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

as a result

Linking Words

, the crime rate will increase which will impose a strain on the security of

society

Use synonyms

and obstruct social

Correct your spelling

progress

progess

Correct your spelling

progress

. Considering the reasons mentioned above, I think that the government could pay more attention to

this

Linking Words

and act on it.

To begin

Linking Words

with, community service is a better option for those who did not commit a severe crime. By contributing to

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

, it could help them

reintergrate

Correct your spelling

reintegrate

into

society

Use synonyms

and might

also

Linking Words

create a sense of achievement. At the same time, more vocational training could be introduced into the jail to

dissemniate

Correct your spelling

disseminate

the newest knowledge and educate the inmates to keep up to date with the

Correct your spelling

latest

lastes

Correct your spelling

latest

skills, which could help them to be a

Correct your spelling

productive

produtive

Correct your spelling

productive

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

society

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, an increase in the employment of the criminal who finished their sentence could have a positive impact on

society

Use synonyms

. To sum up, I would argue that it is still possible for the government to address

this

Linking Words

problem

although

Linking Words

many

criminal

Change to a plural noun

criminals

show examples

is likely to

reoffend

Correct your spelling

re-offend

again after being released.

Submitted by jessegush on Wed Jun 22 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think that robots are important for human future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
i think that robots are vital urgent for society development. there are many benefits using robots for society. robots help to increase human productifity. role robots in industry erea very urgent to enhance the productifity. the example is the role robots in car industry. many aspecs in working in factory have been subtitute by robots. the positive impact are the woriking can be done more quickly and more eficient. beside that the cost of production more lowest better than all aspect of working by human. on the contrit, there are several impact to be consider before using robot in our working area. robot can increase job unployment because many aspect in our life can switch by robot.
8
band
Human activities have had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.
The detrimental effects of human activities on animals and plants are considered an important issue. Whereas some including me argue that there is no way to deal with this problem, others think it can be changed. These viewpoints will be discussed in this essay.
8.5
band
A friend of yours is going on holiday and has asked you to recommend a destination. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter recommend a good place that you have visited before for a holiday say where you went and where you stayed say what you can do there and what the food was like
I hope this letter finds you healthy and wealthy. I am writing to draw your attention to Vancouver as the most interesting holiday destination from my standpoint.
5.5
band
Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
Children’s attitudes and personalities are often dominated by their friends, or experts named this phenomenon as “peer pressure”. This essay will discuss whether the drawbacks of peer pressure within kids overbalance the advantages.
7.5
band
Shopping online is getting more and more popular in recent years. E-commerce becomes one of the most vibrant industries that represent for new ear of technology. In this essay, drawbacks and benefits of shopping online will be discussed in further details.
In the contemporary world, technology has infiltrated almost all aspects of our lives, significantly reshaping the shopping experience through practising multitudinous online marketing strategies. It is my contention that while this phenomenon offers unparalleled flexibility and convenience for consumers, certain lenses are proven to fall short of complying with reliability and health effects on humans.

Many criminal commits further crimes as soon as they are released from the prison. What do you think causes of this ? What effect this have on the society ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that robots are important for human future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Human activities have had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

A friend of yours is going on holiday and has asked you to recommend a destination. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter recommend a good place that you have visited before for a holiday say where you went and where you stayed say what you can do there and what the food was like

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Shopping online is getting more and more popular in recent years. E-commerce becomes one of the most vibrant industries that represent for new ear of technology. In this essay, drawbacks and benefits of shopping online will be discussed in further details.