Medical procedures for cosmetic purposes should not be allowed. Do you agree or disagree

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The practice of some surgical procedures for aesthetic purposes should not be permitted.

This

essay agrees with

this

view, it will set out two examples of procedures performed for aesthetic reasons and poses threat to the lives of the people involved. In most hospitals now, there is increased patronage for Liposuction, as a lot of obese people want to reduce the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of fats in their body to

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

less obese ones. Liposuction is

surgical

Add an article

the surgical

show examples

removal of fats from the body system including the abdomen, thigh and other parts of the body.

This

procedure exposes them

dangers

Change preposition

to dangers

show examples

during the procedure, after it and later in life. Most people are allergic to anaesthetic agents

hence

resulting in difficulty recovering from the effect of anaesthesia used during liposuction. Others often develop complications after the surgery

such

as kidney failure and liver failure which now become a great health challenge for them in future and

finally

death. The

second

procedure I have chosen to support my view is

breast

enlargement.

This

is the process of increasing the sizes of

breast

Add an article

the breast

show examples

making

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

fuller and

Change the word

apply

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bigger in shape.

Aside

Add the preposition

fromAside

show examples

the exorbitant cost of performing

this

surgery, it is

also

dangerous to

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

of the individual by predisposing the

breast

to mastitis,

breast

cancer and other diseases associated with

mammary

Correct article usage

the mammary

show examples

gland. It may

also

damage the

breast

secretary

Correct your spelling

secretory

show examples

cells, thereby

affection

Replace the word

affecting

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secretion

Correct article usage

the secretion

show examples

of milk and reducing breastfeeding practices in women of

child bearing

Correct your spelling

childbearing

show examples

age. In conclusion, there is

a clear evidence

Remove the article

clear evidence

a piece of clear evidence

a shred of clear evidence

show examples

to support the

Correct your spelling

argument

arguement

Correct your spelling

argument

that medical procedures for aesthetic reasons

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

harmful to health and should not be permitted in our society.

Wed Jun 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Medical procedures for cosmetic purposes should not be allowed. Do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today`s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

some parents, specially mothers stay at home instead working, and some people think that they should receive monetary compensation from the government. Do you agree or disagree.

The government spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of public. To what extent do you agree?