IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #subjects #country #development #progress
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At present
science
Use synonyms
 consider one of the major subjects to enhance human life. It is even essential to the extent that we practice
science
Use synonyms
 every day and everywhere.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
thisDespite
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, I disagree that
government
Use synonyms
 should spend more
money
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 to develop
this
Linking Words
 sector due to some reasons. The
government
Use synonyms
's responsibility is considered more important needs than
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
Replace the word
development
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the
Change preposition
of the
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country
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that interest in
science
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 is not for everyone.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
although
Linking Words
science
Use synonyms
 is important
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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there are more foundation things citizens have the right to fulfil.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should not spend extra
money
Use synonyms
 on other things if
people
Use synonyms
 do not have basic needs like food, education, and shelter. If the
government
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 fulfilled these basic needs
then
Linking Words
 it can move to the
next
Linking Words
 stage by developing other important sectors. So in
this
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 case
government
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 should consider their priorities
first
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 and
then
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 decide how to spend the
money
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.
Secondly
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,
science
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 is a subject that some
people
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 do not like to tackle .
For example
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should fulfil the desire of all social levels. A citizen who enjoys art and music
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 the right as well to have
the
Correct article usage
an
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 interest
from
Change preposition
in
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 the main institution of the
country
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.
Furthermore
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, all sectors if we spend extra
money
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 on them will help to develop the
country
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. To conclude, as mentioned above
science
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 is important
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
still
Add a comma
,still
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 there are many essential needs
people
Use synonyms
 have the right to have,
besides
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 that,
science
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 is not
the
Change preposition
in the
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 interest of all
people
Use synonyms
 who live in the
country
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. It will be unfair to neglect other fields.
Submitted by Asbab15 on

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