IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays people tend to change a few careers during their life. What are the reasons for this, in your opinion? Do you think it is good for the society as a whole?

#people #change #careers #life #society
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In the modern era, a plethora of job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 for students
as well as
 young humankind, but only in some sectors
such
 as Electrical and Computer. In the present day, few folks
change
 their
stream
. I will discuss what is the reason behind
this
 and how it is good for the community.
To begin
 with, in the 21st
century
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century,
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 most
the
Correct article usage
apply
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products are connected with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Science and Technology.
For example
, mobile phones, smart watches,
electrical
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electric
show examples
 vehicles and so on.
However
, the student who is interested in labour works or perhaps any
work
 which
are
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is
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 not related to science. Which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 cannot build their future in these sectors.
As a result
, they have to leave that field and
change
 the
stream
.
Apart from
this
, nowadays the electrical segment or maybe
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
 Sector is providing good employment ship with a high salary package.
Therefore
, enormous pupils
change
 their
stream
 and
work
 with other companies which are not related to their field. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand,
this
 is good for society because every student has a dream
for
Change preposition
of
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 making more money and becoming a wealthy person. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, young people have to
change
 their
stream
. If they cannot see a better future in
this
 field.
Although
, a number of the community choose
different
Add an article
a different
the different
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 domain and works with that particular company. which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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, the people who
change
 their
stream
, that
can
Verb problem
apply
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make cash and start a new happy life without any bother.
To conclude
, I suppose,
according to
 different fields, the company provide a good salary.
Therefore
, the humankind who
does
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
satisfy
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
 with their job
work
 must
change
 their domain and
work
 in different sectors where they get more money and satisfaction.
Submitted by shrikunjrana0612 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner. Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effective. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career mobility
  • lifelong learning
  • job satisfaction
  • economic factors
  • market dynamics
  • redundancy
  • work-life balance
  • skill set
  • adaptation
  • innovation
  • personal growth
  • vocational evolution
  • technological advancements
  • workforce diversification
  • expertise development
  • professional transition
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