IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

16.Many students do not finish school. Why is this, and how can the problem be solved? Problems and Solutions

#students #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
School
Use synonyms
 drop-out is emerging rapidly severe in numerous nations and countries.
Although
Linking Words
 bunk from
school
Use synonyms
 Threatens myriad societies, its devastating consequences can be combated triumphantly.
This
Linking Words
 discourse appraises some of the troubles caused by a lack of interest in education on the entire planet and nominates some viable remedies to curb the grave concerns.
to begin
Linking Words
 with, it causes an abundance of tangles. The first and foremost is the annihilation of a student's future. The chattels are extremely obvious and can not be snubbed in a short span of time which stimulates perilous sequels for future
Capitalize word
Genesis
show examples
genesis
Capitalize word
Genesis
show examples
.
For Instance
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
According to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a global study report indicated that the number of
school
Use synonyms
 leavers has
raised
Verb problem
risen
show examples
 recently and the prime causes are financial disability and their interests, The second raise of vexation is the high cost of education and the lack of financial resources to finish it and
acquired
Wrong verb form
acquire
show examples
 qualifications.
However
Linking Words
, the menace of resolutions can be fought. cultivation and awareness
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the prime
key
Fix the agreement mistake
keys
show examples
 to confronting the challenges. the population needs to be cognizant of the adversity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can
evade
Verb problem
avoid
show examples
 doing it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the global state should take rigorous action by enforcing robust strategies and plans to confront the trouble instantly and general folk inevitably bestow their pertinent chunks. to cite an example, the state is solely responsible and accountable for the provision of free study or to provide them scholarships to hardship folk of our planet. In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nutshell,
School
Use synonyms
 dropping is an acute issue because it induces hazardous impacts on flora and fauna, people’s health, and lifestyle, and the entire planet. The superior avenue to address it is the anterior solvents. Even though the challenge is improbable to be entirely eradicated in a short span of time there should be concrete measures to mitigate the detrimental effects it is having on the learner's life.
Submitted by Shabanraza489 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Use more specific and concrete examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly and create better transitions between paragraphs.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: