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Band 4.5

These days, popular leisure activities have been affected by trends and fashion than individuals’ interests and preference. I believe that people still prefer to do their favorite activities in free time.

First
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, the hobby preference is associated with our characteristic traits, age and even mood. when we are
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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, we are interested in playing with our friends in the summer holidays. Most children do not pay attention to
trends
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 and fashion while, by getting age, our interests may change.
In other words
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, adults select their
hobbies
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 based on their personality.
For example
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, the majority of
introvert
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introverted
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people
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 prefer to have lazy and tranquil
leisure
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activities
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 like spending time on the beach in order to
relaxed
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relax
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 and read their
favorite
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favourite
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 books.
On the other hand
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, most extrovert
people
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 are willing to spend their spare time on exciting
activities
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 or extreme sports in order to burn energy and become thrilled.
Moreover
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, during
lifetime
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a lifetime
the lifetime
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, humans experience different good and bad moods. and their psychological status and mood impact the type of
hobbies
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 which they select.
For instance
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,
in
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on
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 rainy and gloomy days, some
people
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 feel sad and depressed.
Therefore
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, they turn to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 some indoor
activities
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 like watching their
favorite
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favourite
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 movie or cooking.
Therefore
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, in my opinion,
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people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
leisure
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activities
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 are mostly influenced by mood, age, and personality rather
Correct word choice
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 fashion or
trends
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.
Nevertheless
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, it is undeniable that there are individuals who pay attention to
trends
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 a fashion and they try to follow them in various aspects of their life, especially most
of
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apply
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teenagers
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the teenagers
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 focus on
trends
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 considerably so that they might select their
leisure
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activities
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 according to
trends
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.
For instance
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, some trend videos of famous celebrities are popular
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their social circles. Some of them follow them in order to be acceptable and stand out among their friends. They ignore their interests and preference.
For example
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, if
adventures
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adventure
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activities
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 like kiting become
trend
Add an article
a trend
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, it is likely that some teenagers do that in spite of that they have fear of heights.
However
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, the number of adults who prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
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popular
hobbies
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 rather than their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
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.
this
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 is because
on
Change preposition
of
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 the internet and social media.
For example
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, they intend to attract more and more
follower
Fix the agreement mistake
followers
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in
Change preposition
to
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 their page or to show off among their friends by
post
Wrong verb form
posting
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 some pictures and videos of their
hobbies
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media like Facebook or Instagram. To sum up, in my point of view, the
trends
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 have changed the hobby preference of
people
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, but it is not as influential as their interests.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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