IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
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Communication plays a vital role in everyone's
life
Use synonyms
. Modern technology,
however
Linking Words
, has changed the way
people
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 interact with each other. In today's era,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
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 choose social
media
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 applications to connect with
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 loved ones and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
build new friendships and relationships. Anyhow, I believe that there are both positive and negative impacts of social
media
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 on children's lives. I will discuss the strengths and weaknesses of social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 in the following paragraphs.
Initially
Linking Words
, I will throw a light on
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 of utilizing
time
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 on
media
Use synonyms
 platforms and forming interconnections. All around the globe,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of teenagers spend way too much
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 web browsing and social applications. Social
media
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 applications
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 up-to-date information regarding ongoing events which make youngsters aware of their surroundings and current affairs of the world. As an example,
today
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today's
show examples
 youth prefers everything ready-at-hand so,
social
Correct word choice
so social
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 is a way of building instant interrelations and gaining vast knowledge about anything and everything.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these sites allow instant messaging and calls anywhere in the world.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is easier to exchange thoughts and feelings which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to the ability
of making
Replace the preposition
to make
show examples
 personal relationships online.
Further
Linking Words
, I will discuss the erroneous impact of social platforms on children's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 and
life
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. Young
people
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 consume too much
time
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 on their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 scrolling and comparing their
life
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 with others which drains energy and may lead to stress, anxiety and depression. In our everyday lives, we can see
people
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 using social sites for enjoyment which shows the lack of connection in reality. So, I think
people
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 are devoiding their ability to form real connections that
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 an essential role in
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 livelihood. In conclusion, I would say that everything has
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 strengths and shortcomings. Anything beyond
limit
Add an article
the limit
show examples
 is harmful so, not only youngsters but everyone should try to limit the use of social
media
Use synonyms
 and try forming real relationships with the
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 around them. Social
media
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 platforms can benefit children if they learn to manage their
time
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 effectively and not focus on other's
life
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 but
instead
Linking Words
 make themselves the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of attention.
Submitted by knavjot072 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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