Some people participate in extra‐curricular activities such as volunteering in charitable events or joining dance groups to gain more knowledge and experience. Others simply focus on their goals such as academic studies or work. Which do you think helps in improving a person’s knowledge and experience and why?

IN SPITE OF HAVING ADVANTAGES OF BOTH INSTITUTIONAL AND

NONACADENIC

Correct your spelling

NONACADEMIC

NON-ACADEMIC

LEARNING PROCESS,

BUT

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

IT IS

POTANTIAL

Correct your spelling

POTENTIAL

FOR PUPILS TO ACHIEVE KNOWLEDGE FROM ACADEMIC COURSE. SOME PEOPLE ARGUE THAT

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

ONLY ACADEMIC EDUCATION CAN REACH THE STUDENTS TO THEIR GOALS, EXTRA CURRICULAR

CANNOT

Correct your spelling

CAN NOT

show examples

THIS

Linking Words

. IT IS A

SUCH

Linking Words

TOPIC WHERE I

CAUGHT

Add a missing verb

AM CAUGHT

show examples

BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE,

AFTERALL

Correct your spelling

AFTER ALL

show examples

I OPINE THAT YOUNGSTERS SHOULD BE QUALIFIED FOR

FUTURE

Correct article usage

THE FUTURE

show examples

BY RECEIVING PROPER LESSONS FROM EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES. THE SPAN OF

LIFE

Use synonyms

IS TOO SHORT, HERE AS WE CAN ENGAGE

PLENTY

Change preposition

IN PLENTY

show examples

OF ACTIVITIES TO BE HAPPY.

FIRST

Linking Words

OF ALL, EVERYONE HAVE TO BE COMPETENT TO DO SIGNIFICANT TASK BY GATHERING PEDAGOGICAL CAPACITY. AND IT OBVIOUSLY

Correct your spelling

OCCURRED

OCCURED

Correct your spelling

OCCURRED

BY INSTITUTES NOT ANY CHARITY ORGANIZATIONS. SINCE NO ONE CAN PLAY

INFLUENTIAL

Correct article usage

AN INFLUENTIAL

show examples

ROLE

FOR

Change preposition

show examples

SOCIETY BY BEING

Linking Words

BESIDES OF

Change preposition

BESIDE

show examples

MANKIND OR

Wrong verb form

DOING

show examples

OTHER RECREATIONAL PERFORMANCES.

FOR INSTANCE

Linking Words

, WE OBSERVED MOST OF THE CELEBRITIES BECOME SUCCESSFUL IN

LIFE

Use synonyms

BY GATTING EXPERIENCES FROM ANY DEFINITE SYLLABUS. WE CAN

MANTION

Correct your spelling

MENTION

THE NAME OF DR MUHAMMAD YOUNUS, THE

FIRST

Linking Words

NOBLE

LARIATE

Correct your spelling

LAUREATE

LARIAT

VARIATE

FROM BANGLADESH. IN EARLY HE EQUIPT WITH RESOURCES AND

THEN

Linking Words

WORKING

Wrong verb form

WORKED

show examples

FOR MANKIND.

FURTHERMORE

Linking Words

, THOSE WHO

INVOLVED

Add a missing verb

ARE INVOLVED

show examples

IN EXTRA-CURRICULAR PROGRAMS IN THE

Correct your spelling

EARLY

EARLLY

Correct your spelling

EARLY

STAGE OF

LIFE

Use synonyms

THEY

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

CAN GATHER PLENTY OF EXPERIENCE BUT THOSE WILL NOT

SUSTAINABLE

Add a missing verb

BE SUSTAINABLE

show examples

FOR

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

THE

show examples

LONG RUN THEY WILL SUFFER MUCH FOR THEIR STUPIDITY. WHEN THEY HAVE BEING IN SPORTS

MOODE

Correct your spelling

MOODIE

, WHEREAS OTHERS WARE IN CAMPUS, WHICH MAKE THEM ENOUGH CONFIDENT AS WELL AS CREATIVE . THEY RUN FOR TEMPORARY SUCCESSES.

FOR EXAMPLE

Linking Words

, MOST OF OUR ACTORS AND FILM BOSSES HAVE BEEN GAINING SEVERAL THINGS, BUT THEY ARE SUFFERING FROM

SUPERIORITY

Correct article usage

A SUPERIORITY

show examples

COMPLEX. IN CONCLUSION, IN RAIN AND SHINE EVERYONE SHOULD BE DREAMED TO BE SUCCESS IN

LIFE

Use synonyms

. IT IS

UNDOUBETELY

Correct your spelling

UNDOUBTEDLY

PROVED THAT STUDENTS PRIME PRIORITY TO EARN BASICS FROM SCHOOLS AND

THEN

Linking Words

DO OTHER ACTIVITIES.

kalam16170

Jun 24, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

personal growth
well-rounded
teamwork
time management
empathy
social awareness
specialization
expertise
measurable
academic achievements
passion
career paths
synergy
creative problem-solving
community service
real-world challenges

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many young people are spending much time on computers, which makes them less active. What are the reasons? What are some solutions?
Nowadays, more and more young people are adopting a sedentary lifestyle by engaging heavily with digital technology, especially computers. One main reason behind this trend is the appealing nature of short, engaging online content that effectively consumes their spare time. Another contributing factor is the lack of parental involvement, as many parents focus primarily on securing the material well-being of their children. I believe that parents should dedicate time to their children and encourage them to participate in meaningful extracurricular activities during their free time.
7
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Economic progress has often been regarded as the foremost goal for governments. However, some argue that other forms of development, such as social, environmental, and cultural progress, are equally crucial. In my opinion, these aspects are complementary and should be pursued together to ensure a holistic approach to national development.
7.5
band
More and More wild animals are on the verge of annihilation and others are on the rare list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve the problem.
These days, the big threat to biodiversity across the world is that a majority of wild animals die out ,or they are on the brink of extinction. This essay discusses the main causes of this trend and how we can solve it.
6.5
band
Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion
Modern technology plays a crucial role in creating a borderless society, regardless of language. Some commentators argue that technology also has separated us from the real world. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my opinion on this matter.
7
band
Traffic congestion and housing problems in larger cities could be solved by moving large industries and factories and their employees to the rural areas. What extent do you agree or disagree ?
It is argued that big cities Could move industries and factories with their workers to rural in order to address traffic congestion and housing problems. I strongly disagree with the statement for many reasons as will be illustrated in the following paragraphs.

Many young people are spending much time on computers, which makes them less active. What are the reasons? What are some solutions?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and More wild animals are on the verge of annihilation and others are on the rare list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve the problem.

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

Traffic congestion and housing problems in larger cities could be solved by moving large industries and factories and their employees to the rural areas. What extent do you agree or disagree ?