IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion

#scientist #computers #beings #people #development #points
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ome
Correct your spelling
some
people
Use synonyms
 state that wild
animals
Use synonyms
 are useless in the 21 century and trying to ensure them a proper environment is a waste of money.
However
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, there are various ways in which wild
animals
Use synonyms
 can be used nowadays and most of them involve
entertainment
Use synonyms
 purposes,
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
circuses
Change preposition
as circuses
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.
Besides
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, each wild animal is different so each calls for special needs that can be extremely costly for the
entertainment
Use synonyms
 areas. As far as I am concerned,
people
Use synonyms
 should be aware that, in order to benefit from wild
animals
Use synonyms
 in shows, they must provide
them
Correct your spelling
the
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facilities
Change preposition
with facilities
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 that will make them feel in their natural habitat.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the importance of awareness regarding wild
animals
Use synonyms
 and why
people
Use synonyms
 should preserve their rights and create
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a proper habitat.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the
21 century
Add a hyphen
21-century
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 became more and more interested in
circuses
Use synonyms
 because they involve wild
Use synonyms
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 shows.
This
Linking Words
 way,
people
Use synonyms
 have the opportunity to observe
animals
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' features and
Correct your spelling
interact
interract
Correct your spelling
interact
 with them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if a show involves camels or zebras,
people
Use synonyms
 will be looking forward to
ride
Change the verb form
riding
show examples
 them and
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 a great
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of pictures. Clearly, it is a profitable area of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 due to the increasing interest in
this
Linking Words
 kind of
shows
Fix the agreement mistake
show
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.
However
Linking Words
, the organizers of
circuses
Use synonyms
 have to preserve wild
animals
Use synonyms
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
set boundaries for the participants, because
animals
Use synonyms
' behaviour can be unexpected.
For example
Linking Words
, research shows that a big percentage of accidents in
circuses
Use synonyms
 took place because of the closeness between the participants and wild
animals
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in order to continue to benefit from wild
animals
Use synonyms
' presence,
people
Use synonyms
 are compelled to ensure them a proper habitat, similar to their natural one. Clearly,
people
Use synonyms
 must take care of
animals
Use synonyms
'
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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,
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otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
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 they will become depressed.
Besides
Linking Words
, providing them
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 flora they used to live in will make them feel in their natural environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, each
Use synonyms
animals
Change to a singular noun
animal
show examples
 have special needs, so the employees must take into consideration a wide range of food for everybody.
For example
Linking Words
, according to a study, wild
animals
Use synonyms
 tend to make no difference between their natural environment and the one organized for them by the
circuses
Use synonyms
, as long as it
is involves
Change the verb form
involves
show examples
 all the elements a wild animal requires. In summary, in the
21
Add a hyphen
21-century
show examples
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 find a diversity of uses for wild
animals
Use synonyms
, but most of them prefer to admire their beauty in
circuses
Use synonyms
. Still, even though it is a profitable way of
entertainment
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness about
animals
Use synonyms
' rights and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
ensure them a proper way of living, even though it might be extremely expensive.
Submitted by diana_t24 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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