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Band 7

As well as making money, businesses also have a responsibility towards society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibility #society
In today's modern
society
, there are many arising problems that need to be solved.
Hence
, some people wonder whether companies should have an obligation to
society
instead
 of simply creating profits for themselves. From my perspective, I totally agree with
this
 statement due to the following reasons. On the one hand,
society
 could not be
corporation's
Correct article usage
a corporation's
show examples
 priority since there are any other key purposes to concern.
Firstly
, each company has already paid an amount of money for taxes and other vital obligations to the government. These budgets would be used to tackưitmany ongoing issues in the community
such
 as polluted environments, diseases, etc.
Moreover
, the essential aim of businesses could be to increase their money as much as possible. It means that dealing with social issues may not be the key factor they ought to put a lot of effort
.
Change preposition
into.
show examples
 Meanwhile, individuals and local authorities have a duty to eliminate them.
On the other hand
, companies taking responsibility for the public would gain many benefits.
Firstly
, focusing on the community can strengthen the loyalty of customers. To illustrate
this
, more and more buyers prepare to spend more money on products which allocate the more or fewer profits to social developments,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 polluted environment, the hunger in remote areas.
In addition
,
this
 is one of the best ways to rise businesses' reputations.
Therefore
, they can become high-profile organizations which attract more and more potential employees and talents to create a greater adequate working environment. In conclusion, the purpose of companies should not merely create profits for themselves, I think they should focus more on their duties to the public in order to bring a better
society
.
Submitted by studywithmee.2022 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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