IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #non-exam #subjects #music #drama #art #craft #secondary-school #curriculum #activities #performance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Educationalists state that art-based
subjects
Use synonyms
 should be mandatory in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 curricula
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they can increase children's academic performance. As far as I am concerned, art
subjects
Use synonyms
 are essential for the artistic development of pupils and I consider that they should be compulsory in the secondary
school
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 way
students
Use synonyms
 develop their originality and creativity while doing enjoyable activities
such
Linking Words
 as drama and crafts.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, schools should be aware that art highly contributes to the academic performance of
students
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they acquire lots of abilities which will help them improve their overall academic performance.
For instance
Linking Words
, craft classes are helpful for the development of their analytical thinking, because pupils need to use their creativity while doing a project. Alternatively, drama classes give them an insight into the theatrical world.
Besides
Linking Words
, they enhance their social abilities and strengthen their relationships with their colleagues.
For example
Linking Words
, a high
school
Use synonyms
 in France implemented arts
subjects
Use synonyms
 in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 and noticed a significant improvement in
students
Use synonyms
' final grades.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if arts
subjects
Use synonyms
 are implemented in secondary
school
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 will have the chance to experience all the options provided from a young age.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a study shows that it stimulates children to express themselves more than any other subject does. That's because in art there are no rules and
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 is appreciated and valued for their efforts.
In addition
Linking Words
, pupils are highly likely to become passionate about a particular course. In conclusion, I firmly believe that implementing arts-based
subjects
Use synonyms
 in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 will be vital for children's development as human beings and will lead to better grades.
Submitted by diana_t24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: