IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility, others believe individuals should be responsible for it (opinion)

#people #environment #government’s #responsibility #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advancements in technology have led to the exploitation of natural resources, trees in the Amazon rainforest are on the edge of extinction, and the
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 exponential increase in atmospheric carbon storage. Some may argue that it's the
state
Use synonyms
's role to protect the earth. Yet, I believe the fundamental responsibility should be taken by us.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, deforestation is caused by
individuals
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as businessmen
hence
Linking Words
, they should take responsibility.
For instance
Linking Words
, soy plantation and cattle ranching are the dominant reasons for deforestation, considering investors cut down trees for agriculture purposes, carbon is
then
Linking Words
 released into the atmosphere leading to a rise in temperature.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, research has found that cattle ranching has caused 80% of Co2 emissions in the tropical rainforest.
This
Linking Words
 outlines how
individuals
Use synonyms
 should take the responsibility to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 as they are the reason for destruction.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that it is the government's duty to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 as the
state
Use synonyms
 has the most power.
Such
Linking Words
 as the plastic bag levy in Taiwan, where citizens need to pay for plastic bags. These schemes are effective as they could reduce the demand for plastic significantly.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the government has the duty to educate the general public about environmental protection, since some citizens may not fully understand the urgency of global warming. All in all, after weighing both factors, I reckon
individuals
Use synonyms
 have the obligation to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 as it is not solely the
state
Use synonyms
 itself causing the damage to the ecosystem.
Thus
Linking Words
, protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
 should not be the
state
Use synonyms
's duty but the
individuals
Use synonyms
 who contributed to the destruction.
Submitted by mlukmd809 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental policies
  • restrictions on pollution
  • renewable energy use
  • natural habitats
  • global environmental issues
  • climate change
  • Paris Agreement
  • eco-friendly habits
  • environmental footprint
  • sustainable practices
  • collective action
  • framework
  • regulations
  • sustainable future
What to do next:
Look at other essays: