Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.
It is perhaps human nature that
parents
always want their offspring to succeed. In contemporary society, this
hope seems to have been magnified. In this
essay, we will try to go through the reasons for this
phenomenon.
Predominantly, never
is Correct pronoun usage
there never
the
competition in Correct article usage
apply
the
society that fierce and brutal in the eyes of Correct article usage
apply
parents
. To armour their kids with the necessary skills which may be somewhat useful in the future, parents'
have inevitably set high goals for their Change noun form
parents
children
. Globalization is taking away tons of job opportunities from developed countries to the lower-cost developing countries, at a faster and faster pace. Strong labour unions as well as
longer retirement ages have minimized the opportunities to get a decent job for young graduates. In order to stand out from the mass public, adolescents have to get flying colours in their studies,
and plate some gold on their resume with various curricula as well. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, a neighbour of mine forced his son to enrol in a private programming class, and he was only 12!
Additionally
, income inequality in the
society has grown unabatedly and Correct article usage
apply
this
results in more rich people around and consequently
more female bosses of such
families are able to quit their jobs to become full-time moms. It is therefore
not surprising that,
these women are super enthusiastic about in enrolling lots of activities (or classes) for their kids, hoping to successfully raise a superman or a superwoman, to justify their sacrifice of career opportunities. The high hopes are of course perceived as pressure on the Remove the comma
apply
children
. For example
, a friend of mine, who grew up in a middle-class family, needed to learn the piano and dance at the age of six. Her mother did not go to work and had all the time to attend the lessons with her and checked all of her homework until she was 18.
In conclusion, the higher pressure imposed by parents
is partly a result of the arduous competition ahead, and partly from the full-time moms who want to prove their sacrifices worthy. Despite the discernable difficult times children
may encounter, I think letting children
learn that life is realistic is not wrong, they will understand and appreciate this
once they grow up.Submitted by ABC_XYZ on
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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and explores the reasons for parents putting pressure on their children to succeed. However, the essay could benefit from a deeper analysis of the positive and negative aspects of this phenomenon. Make sure to fully address all parts of the question and provide a clear and balanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure, including an introduction and conclusion. However, the supporting main points are somewhat weak and lack clear development. Make sure to provide stronger and more relevant examples to support the main points and ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
