IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern milieu,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most individuals are opting for communicating online with their relatives, friends and family members rather than person to person. In my opinion, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss, how conveying online
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 people can bring negative elements into a person’s life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it will discuss the negative impact of
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
. Currently, a great number of people are utilizing the internet for different
intention
Fix the agreement mistake
intentions
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 playing online games, communicating online,
learning
Correct word choice
and learning
show examples
 new languages
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, the most commercial one is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
socializing online. Obviously, it decreased
Use synonyms
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 communication skills over the past decade. A prime example here is that you cannot sense the emotion or enthusiasm
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the other person during socializing online and
thus
Linking Words
, you will
face
Use synonyms
 mental illness due to too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 online socializing and
as a result
Linking Words
, your interpersonal communication skills will decline.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the new socially active era causes laziness and reduces family closeness. One example can be that
instead
Linking Words
 of running to your friends you can message them or
instead
Linking Words
 of walking upstairs to notify
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
 family dinner you can blog it. Social networking makes people’s life so convenient that it creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
laziness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people who
socializing
Wrong verb form
socialise
show examples
 online too much are forgetting to communicate with their family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 even if
next
Linking Words
 to them. In conclusion, it is good to communicate online with your family members, friends and relatives if you are away from home
however
Linking Words
, there is nothing better than communicating
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mahmudovichsardor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • online interactions
  • virtual communication
  • global community
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital divide
  • cyberspace
  • virtual presence
  • social networking
  • mental wellbeing
  • digital literacy
  • safe spaces
  • marginalized groups
  • face-to-face communication
  • socialisation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: