Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views

During childhood,allowing
children
to pick up the suitable entertainment is a critical decision because being healthy and establishing social skills will be influencing how the kids' spare time is going on ,some people argue and allege
computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
will have to get a bad impression on reaching the proper level of health and will have declining social abilities , while others have optimism in
this
.So , I am going to clarify my status and agree with
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
statement and am going to provide strong evidence to confirm
this
idea.
Firstly
,
Children
's health means having nourishment the essential communication abilities and having a good growth
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
childhood which is directly related to the amount of activity and experiencing the situations
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
each person can be able to solve the problems , so the
computer
game
disrupt these goals.
for example
, It will be dominated by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sedentary lifestyle and don't allow the child put in their peers.
As a result
, there has no time to develop physical activity and exercise to increase growth .
Children
's social skills will have to improve by engaging individuals in the community and how they would deal with different people, so the
computer
game
will stop
such
connections and reinforce the mood of loneliness. To sum up , I would stand with
this
side the disadvantages of
computer
game
has a greater negative effect on well-being and communication skills among
children
, so , the government and parents must apply laws to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spreading the
computer
Change preposition
of computer
show examples
game
as a core entertainment.
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • physical health
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • repetitive strain injuries
  • social skills
  • virtual worlds
  • face-to-face interactions
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • strategic thinking
  • hand-eye coordination
  • educational tools
  • engaging
  • multiplayer
  • online gaming communities
  • relieve stress
  • entertainment
  • moderation
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