Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views

#people #computer #games #impact #children #health #skills #lives

During childhood,allowing

children

to pick up the suitable entertainment is a critical decision because being healthy and establishing social skills will be influencing how the kids' spare time is going on ,some people argue and allege

computer

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

will have to get a bad impression on reaching the proper level of health and will have declining social abilities , while others have optimism in

this

.So , I am going to clarify my status and agree with

Change the article

the previous

show examples

statement and am going to provide strong evidence to confirm

this

idea.

Firstly

Children

's health means having nourishment the essential communication abilities and having a good growth

Change preposition

show examples

childhood which is directly related to the amount of activity and experiencing the situations

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

each person can be able to solve the problems , so the

computer

game

disrupt these goals.

for example

, It will be dominated by

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sedentary lifestyle and don't allow the child put in their peers.

As a result

, there has no time to develop physical activity and exercise to increase growth .

Children

's social skills will have to improve by engaging individuals in the community and how they would deal with different people, so the

computer

game

will stop

such

connections and reinforce the mood of loneliness. To sum up , I would stand with

this

side the disadvantages of

computer

game

has a greater negative effect on well-being and communication skills among

children

, so , the government and parents must apply laws to prevent

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

spreading the

computer

Change preposition

of computer

show examples

game

as a core entertainment.

Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on Sun Jun 26 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

253 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

One of your friends has just had a twin and for some reason you cannot go visit them in their town. You should write a letter to your friend and in your letter you should • congratulate them on the new-born babies • explain why you cannot go visit them • offer to help in case they need help.