Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#advances #science #life #expectancy #years

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Over the

last

Linking Words

decade, the advancement in medicine and technology

boosts

Wrong verb form

has boosted

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the age of human beings. It is undoubtedly true that there are both positives and negatives to the trend. In my opinion, it is agreed with the idea that it brings more benefits than drawbacks. On the one hand, it is true that society

Verb problem

has

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benefited from the development that medical science brings.

For example

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, a baby

borne

Correct your spelling

born

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with severe conditions

such

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as organ failure or immune disease can be handled better

due to

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better-equipped facilities and more experienced medical teams.

This

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can be attributed to the knowledge from research and development,

as well as

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experience built from the past.

Moreover

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, the elderly with health problems can be catered to with an all-around solution.

This

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can be seen with patients with

such

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as diabetes and stroke can be treated with a total approach of medicines, exercises, nutrition and so on. When a patient is taken care of by a team of medical professionals

from

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apply

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doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, and dietitians, a longer life expectancy is made possible.

Overall

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, people in society can enjoy spending more time with family and their loved ones.

On the other hand

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, we have to admit that when more people live a longer life, there are more burdens to society.

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, there would be more burdens on the medical system. In developed cities like Hong Kong and Singapore, where people enjoy higher life expectancy, the demand for medical workers is higher.

Also

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, the government

is needed

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needs

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to allocate more resources to welfare,

such

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as housing to accommodate a larger population and public facilities

such

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as parks that suit the senior group. Given the ageing population, there is a lesser proportion of the workforce to carry out blue-collar jobs

such

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as construction workers, and waiters.

This

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may result in structural unemployment and the government needs to bring in cheaper workers from other cities. All in all, there are both pros and cons to the development of medicine. Provided that the longer a person lives, the more time he or she can spend with

families

Fix the agreement mistake

family

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and friends. It is believed that the benefits would outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by chanjeffrey65 on Sun Jun 26 2022

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task response

Task Response: Your answer presents a clear opinion on the topic and addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy resulting from advances in medical science. However, some areas could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive response to the task. Consider elaborating further on the disadvantages to provide a well-rounded argument.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are supported by relevant examples, and there is good use of cohesive devices. To enhance coherence, ensure that the ideas are linked more explicitly, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect the different parts of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

360 words

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Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

In some countries students pay the collage and universities fees themselves, but in other it is paid by the government. Do the advantages of government money outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debts back. Do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?