Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#advances #science #life #expectancy #years

Over the

last

decade, the advancement in medicine and technology

boosts

Wrong verb form

has boosted

show examples

the age of human beings. It is undoubtedly true that there are both positives and negatives to the trend. In my opinion, it is agreed with the idea that it brings more benefits than drawbacks. On the one hand, it is true that society

Verb problem

has

show examples

benefited from the development that medical science brings.

For example

, a baby

borne

Correct your spelling

born

show examples

with severe conditions

such

as organ failure or immune disease can be handled better

due to

better-equipped facilities and more experienced medical teams.

This

can be attributed to the knowledge from research and development,

as well as

experience built from the past.

Moreover

, the elderly with health problems can be catered to with an all-around solution.

This

can be seen with patients with

such

as diabetes and stroke can be treated with a total approach of medicines, exercises, nutrition and so on. When a patient is taken care of by a team of medical professionals

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, and dietitians, a longer life expectancy is made possible.

Overall

, people in society can enjoy spending more time with family and their loved ones.

On the other hand

, we have to admit that when more people live a longer life, there are more burdens to society.

For instance

, there would be more burdens on the medical system. In developed cities like Hong Kong and Singapore, where people enjoy higher life expectancy, the demand for medical workers is higher.

Also

, the government

is needed

Wrong verb form

needs

show examples

to allocate more resources to welfare,

such

as housing to accommodate a larger population and public facilities

such

as parks that suit the senior group. Given the ageing population, there is a lesser proportion of the workforce to carry out blue-collar jobs

such

as construction workers, and waiters.

This

may result in structural unemployment and the government needs to bring in cheaper workers from other cities. All in all, there are both pros and cons to the development of medicine. Provided that the longer a person lives, the more time he or she can spend with

families

Fix the agreement mistake

family

show examples

and friends. It is believed that the benefits would outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by chanjeffrey65 on Sun Jun 26 2022

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task response

Task Response: Your answer presents a clear opinion on the topic and addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy resulting from advances in medical science. However, some areas could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive response to the task. Consider elaborating further on the disadvantages to provide a well-rounded argument.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are supported by relevant examples, and there is good use of cohesive devices. To enhance coherence, ensure that the ideas are linked more explicitly, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect the different parts of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

360 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that technological advancements have made traditional skills and methods obsolete, while others argue that these skills are still valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplaces. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays in many countries chemicals are used to preserve food. Do the advantages of this use outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

"prevention is better than cure". Research and treating is too costly. so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. To what extend do you agree.