IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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the elevation of crime is emerging rapidly
severe
Correct word choice
apply
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in numerous nations and countries.
Although
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 offenders threaten myriad societies, their devastating consequences can be combated triumphantly.
This
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 discourse appraises some of the troubles caused by extensive volumes of unlawful acts on the entire planet and nominates some viable remedies to curb the grave concerns.
To begin
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 with, it causes an abundance of tangles. The first and foremost is the annihilation of the natural beauty and territory of the human kingdom. The chattels are extremely obvious and cannot be snubbed in a short span of time which stimulates perilous sequels for future genesis.
For Instance
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, in a recent report, it emerged that a prisoner after fulfilling their punishment more involved in criminal activities across the globe. the second raise of vexation is the level of poverty and unemployment which are contributing factors to committing the offence.
However
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, the menace of resolutions can be fought. Cultivation and awareness
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the prime key to confronting the challenges. The population needs to be cognizant of the adversity.
Therefore
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, they can
evade
Verb problem
avoid
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 doing it.
Moreover
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, the global state should take rigorous action by enforcing robust strategies and plans to confront the trouble instantly and general folk inevitably bestow their pertinent chunks. To cite an example, Research findings reveal that cultivation is the prime key to
mitigate with
Wrong verb form
mitigating
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 rising crime rates
instead
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 of life sentences. In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 nutshell, high crimes are an acute issue because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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induces
Correct subject-verb agreement
induce
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 hazardous impacts on flora and fauna, people’s health, and lifestyle, and the entire planet. The superior avenue to address it is the anterior solvents. Even though the challenge is improbable to be entirely eradicated in a short span of time there should be concrete measures to mitigate the detrimental effects it is having on the community.

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical progression and structure of the essay. Work on developing clearer and more supported main points. Enhance the introduction and conclusion by providing more clarity and focus.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully responds to the task question, with clear and comprehensive ideas. Provide relevant and specific examples to support the arguments effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
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