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Band 5

Deforestation caused by human activities is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?

#deforestation #activities #parts #world #results #environment
Cutting down trees
due to
 human activities is becoming increasingly common in various parts of the world, resulting in serious effects on the environment.
This
 essay will discuss the possible solutions to solving
this
 problem, which include proper allocation of
lands
 for use
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 agricultural purposes and placing laws which will guide against
deforestation
in particular
 areas of the community.
To begin
 with, many countries engage in
deforestation
 in order to get their needed resources like timber and wood, disregarding the fact that when
this
 is done too much, they are destroying the inhabitants of wild lives.
therefore
, leading to the displacement of animals and making them homeless, thereby ,posing risks to the wild lives.
For example
, it was reported in the year 2012, that wild animals are now reportedly seen wandering in some streets in urban areas.
This
 was
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a result of losing their inhabitants
due to
 an increase in burning and cutting down of trees in the forest which was supposed to be their homes.
However
, these problems can be solved if the governments place a policy and rules guiding the activities of
deforestation
.
Moreover
, there should be a proper allocation of
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
 for these purposes. If the governments can bring out some
lands
 that
people
 can use for getting the needed resources ,
this
 will help reduce the incidence of
deforestation
 and
people
 will be more careful in choosing
lands
 on which they will work . In conclusion ,
deforestation
 can not be stopped because
people
 tend to get basic resources from those forests.
However
, if the public body can provide specific
lands
 which will be used for
such
 a process and place laws concerning
this
 action, there will be a reduction in the rate at which
people
 cut down trees and grasses in the bush.

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be developed further to provide a stronger framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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