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Writing Samples
Band 6

Salary is the main consderation when finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#salary #consderation #job
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There is no doubt that some
people
 tend to choose a job depending on the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of earnings they are given by the organization. While some
people
 suggest that
money
 is the most important factor to be considered, some
people
 claim that there are
also
 myriad reasons to contemplate while choosing a job. Personally, I totally disagree with the statement that monthly income is the most important when deciding
a
Change preposition
on a
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career. Most
people
 think that they will be happy while they are working as a high paid salary staff. It cannot be denied that the more
money
 we want to earn, the more duties we have to perform. Being a happy employee depends not only on the amount of
money
 but
also
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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job satisfaction.
This
 may include
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with other colleagues,
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
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, stipends, work-life balance, vacation, and many more parameters.
For instance
, a person who earns less will be happier than a person who earns big bucks through extreme stress and pressure at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 workplace.
Consequently
, it can lead to mental breakdown and health problems. The cost to cure
mental related
Add a hyphen
mental-related
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 problems will be much more than
monthly
Correct article usage
the monthly
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 salary.
On the other hand
, considerations in the salaries
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a profession can have positive sides. The main reason is that
although
money
 is not everything, our quality of life depends on it since it is the
second
 God for everyone.
Firstly
, we can buy luxurious cars and houses only if we have a huge amount of
money
.
Secondly
, if we want to cure a disease, the basic need is
money
.
Finally
, to have a standard education,
money
 is necessary.
As a result
, some
people
 consider
money
 as the main factor to choose between jobs. To sum up, I do not believe that
money
 is the most important feature to choose a career path, without it, we will not be happy with our roles.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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