Many working people get little or no excercise either during the working days or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not to get enough exercise?

#people #excercise #time #health #exercise

The Importance of

exercise

for better

health

is always debatable, the proverb is

Correct your spelling

always

alwasys

Correct your spelling

always

said by our elders that ‘’

Health

is wealth’’. But

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

current era and rise in the competition

this

proverb are demolished. Nowadays the

working class

Add a hyphen

working-class

show examples

people

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

have enough

time

to look after their own

health

due to

work loads

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workloads

show examples

and excessive working

hours

. To tackle

this

issue the government has to play a vital role in implementing the fixed weekly working

hours

and compulsory

holiday

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holidays

show examples

on Sundays as well as festival days. On that invest in parks with outdoor gym equipment. To embark, the working class, as well as

businessman

Fix the agreement mistake

businessmen

show examples

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

, have enough

time

to look after their

health

due to

increase

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the increase

show examples

in competition in the market, excessive workload

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that the travel

time

from

home

to office to back

home

is so hectic that individual gets tired in commuting from

home

to office due to heavy traffic. When they come back

home

their full energy got used in the office and they lost

inspiration

Add an article

the inspiration

show examples

to go to the park and do some

exercise

. They eat dinner spend

time

with family and go to sleep to live for another day.

This

brings disease and

health

get deteriorate. For, instance in Japan

its

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it's

show examples

illegal to become fat.

Secondly

, the

health

issue is a global

problems

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problem

show examples

, to tackle

this

issue the government has to play a vital role in supporting their citizen to have better

health

This

results in less burden on the budget of

health

care. Development of new parks and implementation of free usage of outdoor gym attracts many

people

to do the

exercise

. Like

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

attaraction

Correct your spelling

attraction

attractions

bring

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brings

show examples

people

to do

excerise

Correct your spelling

exercise

. For making

people

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apply

show examples

work out the

Correct your spelling

government

govenment

Correct your spelling

government

has to fix weekly working

hours

so that everybody gets

time

after coming from their duties to look after their

health

by doing different types of

exercise

like walking, running, yoga and many more. Like,

this

we can try to solve the problems and live a healthy life which everybody deserves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. To culminate,

health

issues arise due to workloads, unlimited working

hours

, and no leisure

time

which makes an individual a robot. We are human beings to be energetic and disease-free we have to do

exercise

which will solve many problems.

Submitted by hirendhanwani on Mon Jun 27 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

379 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Many working people get little or no excercise either during the working days or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not to get enough exercise?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation，such as an unsatisfactory job or lack of money . Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

An overseas friend has invited you to visit his country. You are planning to visit him. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter  Thank him for the invitation and accept the invitation  Write details about your visit  Briefly describe what you want to do there.

Some countries are struggling with increasing crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some college freshmen find that the courses they choose are not suitable for them. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve the problem?

In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?