Many working people get little or no excercise either during the working days or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not to get enough exercise?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The Importance of
exercise
Use synonyms
for better
health
Use synonyms
is always debatable, the proverb is
Correct your spelling
always
alwasys
Correct your spelling
always
said by our elders that ‘’
Health
Use synonyms
is wealth’’. But
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
current era and rise in the competition
this
Linking Words
proverb are demolished. Nowadays the
working class
Add a hyphen
working-class
show examples
people
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have enough
time
Use synonyms
to look after their own
health
Use synonyms
due to
work loads
Correct your spelling
workloads
show examples
and excessive working
hours
Use synonyms
. To tackle
this
Linking Words
issue the government has to play a vital role in implementing the fixed weekly working
hours
Use synonyms
and compulsory
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
on Sundays as well as festival days. On that invest in parks with outdoor gym equipment. To embark, the working class, as well as
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
, have enough
time
Use synonyms
to look after their
health
Use synonyms
due to
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
in competition in the market, excessive workload
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that the travel
time
Use synonyms
from
home
Use synonyms
to office to back
home
Use synonyms
is so hectic that individual gets tired in commuting from
home
Use synonyms
to office due to heavy traffic. When they come back
home
Use synonyms
their full energy got used in the office and they lost
inspiration
Add an article
the inspiration
show examples
to go to the park and do some
exercise
Use synonyms
. They eat dinner spend
time
Use synonyms
with family and go to sleep to live for another day.
This
Linking Words
brings disease and
health
Use synonyms
get deteriorate. For, instance in Japan
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
illegal to become fat.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
health
Use synonyms
issue is a global
problems
Change the noun form
problem
show examples
, to tackle
this
Linking Words
issue the government has to play a vital role in supporting their citizen to have better
health
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
results in less burden on the budget of
health
Use synonyms
care. Development of new parks and implementation of free usage of outdoor gym attracts many
people
Use synonyms
to do the
exercise
Use synonyms
. Like
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
it
attaraction
Correct your spelling
attraction
attractions
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
more
people
Use synonyms
to do
excerise
Correct your spelling
exercise
. For making
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
work out the
Correct your spelling
government
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
has to fix weekly working
hours
Use synonyms
so that everybody gets
time
Use synonyms
after coming from their duties to look after their
health
Use synonyms
by doing different types of
exercise
Use synonyms
like walking, running, yoga and many more. Like,
this
Linking Words
we can try to solve the problems and live a healthy life which everybody deserves
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. To culminate,
health
Use synonyms
issues arise due to workloads, unlimited working
hours
Use synonyms
, and no leisure
time
Use synonyms
which makes an individual a robot. We are human beings to be energetic and disease-free we have to do
exercise
Use synonyms
which will solve many problems.
Submitted by hirendhanwani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: