IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

“Subjects such as drama and music are just as important as maths and languages.” Do you agree?

#“subjects #drama #music #maths #languages
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Some people assume learning topics in
art
Add an article
the art
show examples
 including drama genre or playing
a music
Remove the article
music
a piece of music
show examples
 or knowing how to be written a song must consider in academy schedule
besides
Linking Words
 of
maths
Use synonyms
 and
languages
Use synonyms
 have been becoming an
unseperated
Correct your spelling
unseparated
 part of
timetable
Add an article
the timetable
show examples
 for young learners,
in contrast
Linking Words
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement,It has been emphasized on
maths
Use synonyms
 and
languages
Use synonyms
 are sciences which must be
investd
Correct your spelling
invested
 by the educational institution for setting the study plan.
Any way
Replace the word
Anyway
show examples
,I agree with
previous
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the previous
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 thesis and demonstrate the importance
both
Change preposition
of both
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 by expressing many
evidences
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pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my experiences throughout my life .I am going to clarify my opinion in
following
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the following
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 argument. Life
bieng
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being
 in the
comtemporary
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contemporary
 world needs to
human
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a human
the human
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 who has more creativity and having better communication skills to handle problems to secure their lives on the earth ,according to some scientific articles has been demonstrated that individual that can play a piano or violin has more power to understanding
maths
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 .some scientist has been recommended the children must learn playing a musical instrument ,
in addition
Linking Words
 of ,it has been known the music diminishes anxiety and improve
concntration
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concentration
 in people.
lexical
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the lexical
a lexical
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 resource is a part of each
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languages
Change to a singular noun
language
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 which has been
strenghthen
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strengthened
strengthen
 by reading
a massive dramas
Correct the article-noun agreement
a massive drama
massive dramas
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as poems from
sheakspear
Correct your spelling
Shakespeare
 , these can be expanded the knowledge of students with teaching the essential lessons in human life .It is
clear
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clearly
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 better speaking and reading
skill
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skills
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 would become students more powerful in their
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 needed
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
negotiation
Replace the word
negotiating
show examples
. Conclusion To sum up, Art
discipline
Fix the agreement mistake
disciplines
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as learning songs, playing
a music
Remove the article
music
a piece of music
show examples
 and drama are important as
maths
Use synonyms
 and
languages
Use synonyms
 in faculties because , these will be constructing our child with more creativity , better communication skills and less
anxious
Replace the word
anxiety
show examples
. so, I stand up with
this
Linking Words
 side that has been said both
topica
Correct your spelling
topics
topic
 are very crucial to learning and
expriencing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
experimenting
 for fresh students.
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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