IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #sports #activities #support
Some
people
 tend to do risky activities often nowadays which might be
as
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apply
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a result
for
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of
show examples
 several purposes. I
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
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believe
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people
 generally do so to feel a sense of adventure, as
stress relieving
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stress-relieving
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 hobby, and because of the social
media
 influence. 
People
 who like adventures might find themselves commonly in dangerous places. Because of their enthusiasm and brave qualities, they tend to experience new stuff
everyday
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every day
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!
For example
, adventurers would generally like to fully explore the place they are presenting in at the moment which may in turn lead them to find a new adventure especially if the place was in the wood or outside buildings. Other
people
who
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whom
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workout
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work out
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 daily by,
for instance
, running and similar exercises to relieve their
Correct your spelling
stress
stess
Correct your spelling
stress
 might actually tend to do dangerous sports. What links
the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily sports with
the
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apply
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risky ones is
the
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apply
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people
's heartbeat. Whenever it is racing their stress as well as negative feelings might
decreased
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be decreased
decrease
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 at the excitement of the moment. Social
media
 has indeed great influence on individuals' desire to do risky activities. On TikTok, as an example,
people
 share their videos of jumping from almost 2
kilometers
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kilometres
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high, with safety equipment surely.
This
 indeed has
became
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become
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 a trend which,
in other words
,
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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 numerous teenagers to do so to film videos and share them on social
media
 platforms. To conclude, risky sports and activities are common nowadays.
People
,
from
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in
show examples
 my opinion, start to do them for mainly three reasons, i.e., to have their own adventures, as a hobby to relieve their stress, and because of the impact of social
media
 platforms .
Submitted by ezixllo on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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