IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #sports #activities #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 tend to do risky activities often nowadays which might be
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a result
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 several purposes. I
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 generally do so to feel a sense of adventure, as
stress relieving
Add a hyphen
stress-relieving
show examples
 hobby, and because of the social
media
Use synonyms
 influence. 
People
Use synonyms
 who like adventures might find themselves commonly in dangerous places. Because of their enthusiasm and brave qualities, they tend to experience new stuff
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
!
For example
Linking Words
, adventurers would generally like to fully explore the place they are presenting in at the moment which may in turn lead them to find a new adventure especially if the place was in the wood or outside buildings. Other
people
Use synonyms
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
 daily by,
for instance
Linking Words
, running and similar exercises to relieve their
Correct your spelling
stress
stess
Correct your spelling
stress
 might actually tend to do dangerous sports. What links
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily sports with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risky ones is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's heartbeat. Whenever it is racing their stress as well as negative feelings might
decreased
Change the verb form
be decreased
decrease
show examples
 at the excitement of the moment. Social
media
Use synonyms
 has indeed great influence on individuals' desire to do risky activities. On TikTok, as an example,
people
Use synonyms
 share their videos of jumping from almost 2
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
high, with safety equipment surely.
This
Linking Words
 indeed has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 a trend which,
in other words
Linking Words
,
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 numerous teenagers to do so to film videos and share them on social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms. To conclude, risky sports and activities are common nowadays.
People
Use synonyms
,
from
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 my opinion, start to do them for mainly three reasons, i.e., to have their own adventures, as a hobby to relieve their stress, and because of the impact of social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms .
Submitted by ezixllo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: