In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport

In some countries, some residents claim that it is essential to

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

finance on building new railway lines to make the

trains

faster.

However

, some people think that the

budget

should be spent on public transportations which have existed. On one hand, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the people are addicted to

take

Change the verb form

taking

show examples

a trip by

trains

Fix the agreement mistake

train

show examples

although

it takes a long time and there are some accidents which are happening because of old railway lines. Travelling by train is more interesting, comfortable and peaceful rather than the other transportations.

However

, visitors will not be satisfied enough to travel by

trains

Fix the agreement mistake

train

show examples

if it takes a long time to reach their goals. When it is dangerous and thrilling to travel by

trains

because of the desolate railways,

citizen’s

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens’

show examples

security will be terrible. For these reasons, some people think that it is vital to make new railway lines.

On the other hand

, some citizens believe that the government should spend the finance on improving existing public transport as

this

is only necessary to be repaired and one of the ways to save the

budget

. Some car roads are in

bad

Add an article

a bad

show examples

situation because of the terrible weather

such

as heavy rain and high temperature. After

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

the roads are damaged and cankerous due to the accidents which are happening for careless drivers. If they just need to repair, a small amount of

budget

should be spent on

this

Instead

of spending

money

on building new roads, the government should

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

money

on other situations. In conclusion, from my point of view, spending

budget

Correct article usage

the budget

show examples

on repairing the existing public transport is better than spending

money

on constructing finance on new railways. The more

money

we can save, the more benefits we can have.

Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on Tue Jun 28 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

287 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

infrastructure
efficient
congestion
sustainable
environmentally friendly
connectivity
economic growth
public transportation

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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

These days, fooddays, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages ?