There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#animals’ #species #world #people #animals #time #beings

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It has been universally acknowledged that the number of animal extinctions is escalating at an alarming rate in

current

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the current

show examples

scenario. One school of thought opine that human

being

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beings

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should protect

animals

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from dying out,

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however

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,however

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some other communities argued that people should spend more time on

problems

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the problems

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of human beings.

This

Linking Words

essay will not only shed light on both perceptions yet my point of view will

also

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be elaborated. Commencing with the causes which are responsible for

the

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its

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growth of it. The reason is that

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apply

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the number of

endanger

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endangered

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animals

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has been

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suffering

suffuring

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suffering

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from

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the pollution which

have

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has

show examples

had caused by humanity

such

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as water

pollutions

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pollution

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and air

pollutions

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pollution

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental conservationism

believe

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believes

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that people should protect

animals

Use synonyms

from being

extincted

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extinct

. To cite an example, there are some conservation organisations

are

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that are

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raising awareness to

public

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the public

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from

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about

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trafficking illegally just only for their

disatiable

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insatiable

urges.

As a result

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, there will be unbalanced biological circles which can help people to mitigate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

climate change.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in order to solve

this

Linking Words

serious issue, some measures can be taken. Human beings undoubtedly should take

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

responsibility to solve

this

Linking Words

severe problem.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, waste disposals and toxic emissions from massive industries are contaminating the river and sea. To exemplify, marine

animals

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will be accidentally consuming plastics as their

foods

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food

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Consequently

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, there will be more and more

animals

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extincted

Correct your spelling

extinct

in future. To conclude, according to my perspective,

this

Linking Words

problematic issue has become depressing magnitude.

Therefore

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this

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is not an easy task to solve

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

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Worldwide

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A worldwide

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effort is crucial in order to curb

this

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grave concern.

Submitted by rosewong0922 on Tue Jun 28 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Extinction, Endangered species, Conservation, Habitat, Ecosystem, Biodiversity, Ethical responsibility, Preservation, Ecosystem services, Wildlife protection, Poverty alleviation, Healthcare, Climate action, Resource allocation, Food security, Interconnectedness, Sustainable development

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There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?