There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#animals’ #species #world #people #animals #time #beings

It has been universally acknowledged that the number of animal extinctions is escalating at an alarming rate in

current

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the current

show examples

scenario. One school of thought opine that human

being

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beings

show examples

should protect

animals

from dying out,

however

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,however

show examples

some other communities argued that people should spend more time on

problems

Correct article usage

the problems

show examples

of human beings.

This

essay will not only shed light on both perceptions yet my point of view will

also

be elaborated. Commencing with the causes which are responsible for

the

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its

show examples

growth of it. The reason is that

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apply

show examples

the number of

endanger

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endangered

show examples

animals

has been

Correct your spelling

suffering

suffuring

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suffering

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from

show examples

the pollution which

have

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has

show examples

had caused by humanity

such

as water

pollutions

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pollution

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and air

pollutions

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pollution

show examples

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental conservationism

believe

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believes

show examples

that people should protect

animals

from being

extincted

Correct your spelling

extinct

. To cite an example, there are some conservation organisations

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

raising awareness to

public

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the public

show examples

from

Change preposition

about

show examples

trafficking illegally just only for their

disatiable

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insatiable

urges.

As a result

, there will be unbalanced biological circles which can help people to mitigate

the

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apply

show examples

climate change.

On the other hand

, in order to solve

this

serious issue, some measures can be taken. Human beings undoubtedly should take

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

responsibility to solve

this

severe problem.

Furthermore

, waste disposals and toxic emissions from massive industries are contaminating the river and sea. To exemplify, marine

animals

will be accidentally consuming plastics as their

foods

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food

show examples

Consequently

, there will be more and more

animals

extincted

Correct your spelling

extinct

in future. To conclude, according to my perspective,

this

problematic issue has become depressing magnitude.

Therefore

this

is not an easy task to solve

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

Worldwide

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A worldwide

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effort is crucial in order to curb

this

grave concern.

Submitted by rosewong0922 on Tue Jun 28 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Extinction, Endangered species, Conservation, Habitat, Ecosystem, Biodiversity, Ethical responsibility, Preservation, Ecosystem services, Wildlife protection, Poverty alleviation, Healthcare, Climate action, Resource allocation, Food security, Interconnectedness, Sustainable development

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There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. What extent do you agree?

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Topic 10. In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?