IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that teacher should be strict in order to best motivate students while others say that friendly teachers are more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #teacher #students #teachers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In every
society
Add a comma
,society
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
 are considered to be a guiding light for their
students
Use synonyms
 in order to bring the best out of them. Achieving the goal
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 building better adults some believe it is better to have a softer
approach
Use synonyms
 towards the
students
Use synonyms
, while others argue a sterner stance by the
teachers
Use synonyms
 is more useful to shape
students
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
into
show examples
 better humans. The argument for
softer
Correct article usage
a softer
show examples
approach
Use synonyms
 explains the importance of nourishment required by
teachers
Use synonyms
 for motivating their
students
Use synonyms
. As they believe a stricter environment will lead kids to a rebellious path from where it gets extremely difficult to reverse that outcome.
For example
Linking Words
, a pupil
constantly
Correct pronoun usage
who constantly
show examples
ending
Wrong verb form
ends
show examples
 up in quarrels and mischievous acts
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 an empathetic
approach
Use synonyms
 to handle and explain the consequences of his actions to bring a
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
 change in his attitude. While others believe that a stricter teacher will make
students
Use synonyms
 aware of the harsh realities of life and
constant
Correct article usage
the constant
show examples
 struggle required to become a successful human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. During
childhood
Add a comma
,childhood
show examples
 it is impossible for the infants to have knowledge of the actual
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 conditions and what it takes to bring an
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
show examples
 for a family.
Therefore
Linking Words
, strong actions are needed to be taken when they dismay from the ideal course.
Such
Linking Words
 actions not only result in making the
students
Use synonyms
 more obedient, but they
also
Linking Words
 inculcate strong life principles and high moral standards. All in all, countries need better citizens who are motivated enough to construct a more prosperous society. While a calmer
approach
Use synonyms
 might seem enduring love and care but it does little help in the final goal achievement.
This
Linking Words
 goal can only be achieved when we have
teachers
Use synonyms
 with greater control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 how much deviation they allow for their
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bulanddawra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: