An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve the problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Childhood obesity is sharply on the rise and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
may lead to health issues in adulthood. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss the reasons why many children are overweight and
measure
Correct subject-verb agreement
measures
show examples
that can curb
this
Linking Words
harmful trend. One of the main reasons young ones gain an unhealthy amount of weight is the increased access to junk food. Fast-food restaurants are widespread and are relatively cheaper and more convenient than healthier alternatives.
Mcdonalds
Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
show examples
, the most popular fast-food chain in the world,
for example
Linking Words
, offers meals that are inexpensive and take about 10-15 minutes at most to be ready.
Therefore
Linking Words
, busy
parents
Use synonyms
might opt for that
instead
Linking Words
of preparing a home-cooked meal. Another cause of increased weight in young people is their sedentary lifestyle. Compared to the previous generation,
this
Linking Words
generation prefers to stay indoors and play games
instead
Linking Words
of participating in outdoor activities. All of these result in an obese child. In order to tackle
this
Linking Words
problem,
parents
Use synonyms
and the government have a huge role to play. Children often mirror the lifestyle of their
parents
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
, they need to lead by example.
Parents
Use synonyms
, no matter how busy they may be, need to prepare healthy, home-cooked meals and
also
Linking Words
provide healthier snack options.
For instance
Linking Words
,
meal-prep
Correct your spelling
meal prep
show examples
can be made on the weekends so as to prevent the
last
Linking Words
-minute buying of junk foods.
In addition
Linking Words
, the government can limit the number of restaurants in an area and
also
Linking Words
create policies to increase the tax paid by these junk food industries. These aforementioned solutions should be able to reduce the rate of obesity in the younger population. In conclusion,
This
Linking Words
essay discussed the major causes of obesity in the young, and the steps that are needed to solve them.
Submitted by ibrahimfarhan200 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you address all parts of the essay question in a clear and organized manner.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but try to make the logical flow of information more cohesive throughout the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: