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Band 5.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives
Presently, In the moment of urbanization, it has been observed, that there are myriads of individuals from the countryside, who wants to pass their living by staying nearby to their homeland.
Nonetheless
, there are various factors that contribute communities to
pass
Wrong verb form
passing
show examples
 their existence by residing
at
Change preposition
in
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 one place. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
 phenomenon possesses several merits and demerits that are discussed throughout the essay.
To begin
 with, communities that belonged to the countryside, usually attribute agriculture
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their occupation,
such
 as growing vegetables, and taking care of plain lands and cattle farms, due to which they retain ferocious affinity towards the motherland.
Furthermore
, in any developing country people are more inclined toward the profession related to agriculture.
Therefore
, most of the national revenue generation
rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
show examples
 on
this
 sector. To illustrate with an example, in the past year the annual yield of the country constituted 72 per cent of the income generated from the agricultural sector, while the remaining 28 per cent was collected from other sectors.
Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
show examples
 people residing in the countryside play a crucial role in the development of the country
On the other hand
, there are a number of grave effects
Correct pronoun usage
that falls
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falls
Correct subject-verb agreement
fall
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 on the cognitive growth of an individual. Mere exposure prevents from broadening mindset.
For instance
; Old-age villagers are typically found rigid towards the growth of their own children and their grandchildren.
Moreover
, they have less acceptance
towards
Change preposition
of
show examples
 new ideas and concepts.
Consequently
, they are left alone in their declining years.
Thus
, it is necessary to move out and explore new things, In order to learn and earn a better living Apparently dwelling
at
Change preposition
on
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 a particular land
have
Change the verb form
has
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 innumerable benefits, yet it is
also
 accountable for the drawbacks, notably the personal growth of a human being. In my viewpoint,
this
 can be effortlessly overcome by sustaining balance holistically.
Submitted by Alvina Muqeet on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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