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Band 5.5

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT UNPAID COMMUNITY SERVICE SHOULD BE COMPULSORY PART OF HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAMS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

#people #community #service #part #school #programs
Many believe that schools should add social
work
 as a compulsory part of
student’s
Fix the agreement mistake
students’
show examples
 syllabus. Personally,
although
 I believe that volunteer
work
 is necessary for the overall growth of a student yet it should not be a compulsion for them. Beginning with the view
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
 unpaid social
work
 is desirable for school
students
, I would like to put forward my own opinion on
this
 issue.
Firstly
, it inculcates moral values among pupils. If a child gets a chance to do some social
work
, he would feel a sense of responsibility towards society.
For example
, in Indian schools, many
students
 take part in NSS Camps where they get an opportunity to involve in societal
work
such
 as plantation of trees or cleanliness of an area which leads them to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 in their future.
Secondly
, they can gain some practical experience of life while working under some
NGO’s
Change noun form
NGO
show examples
 and
this
 experience can be utilized in their upcoming life.
Therefore
,
students
 should be encouraged to perform some social
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Despite the aforementioned viewpoints, there are myriad reasons to argue that
students
 should not be compelled to take part in social
work
. Indeed,
students
 are already overburdened with their studies. If they have to spare some time for unpaid social
work
, definitely they would have no time for their recreation.
This
 would lead to the problem of stress and depression which
further
 can be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their academic performance.
Furthermore
, many financially weak pupils cannot take up
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 unpaid
work
 as they can support their families as well as themselves financially
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that duration.
Consequently
,
this
 compulsion should not be imposed on
students
. In conclusion, unpaid community
work
 can be helpful for a pupil to learn many crucial aspects of life, I,
nevertheless
, assert that it should not be mandatory for them.
Submitted by upasna.garg44 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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