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Band 5.5

Nowdays, people live in the society where consumer goods are cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

#nowdays #people #society #consumer #goods
In
this
 contemporary world, there is a lot of advancement in the industrial area.
Although
 there may be a gradual decrease in the quality of products
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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still the public is adherent to
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
 it. I believe that its demerits
overwhelmes
Correct your spelling
overwhelms
overwhelmed
 merits. As in
this
 developing world,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is a lot of competition in each field which is heading towards a scenario portraying certain circumstances.
Initally
Correct your spelling
Initially
Finally
, the public is falling prey
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
salers
Correct your spelling
sales
 as they offer a plethora of discounts to increase their marketing which is followed by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 gradual decrease in quality and sustainability of it.
To begin
 with, the durability of the goods is
detoriating
Correct your spelling
deteriorating
 on a daily basis.
For instance
, the cost of very
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
Correct your spelling
vehicles
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 in the market are BMW,
Mercidies
Correct your spelling
Mercedes
 and many more are more likely to
last
 in a long run in comparison to other brands
such
 as Tata Nano,
Maruti
Correct word choice
and Maruti
show examples
. It is evident that as the price of it increases the
longivity
Correct your spelling
longevity
 of it aslo follows
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Thus
, there are still many people who are not able to
Correct your spelling
afford
aford
Correct your spelling
afford
 these liabilities.
Secondly
, the marketing schemes
Correct your spelling
launched
lauched
Correct your spelling
launched
 by a company
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a major trap for the buyers.
Such
 as, there are some
publlic
Correct your spelling
public
 who are not able to buy an item by full payment but due to E.M.I options they are able to afford it .
Furthermore
, they are unaware of the fact that in
this
 process an extra amount is being paid to them . Henceforth, it is clear that it is being a profit for the owner but a gradual loss for the buyer. Overall, it can be said that these are the honey traps held for a
company
Change noun form
company's
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 profit . I strongly believe that it overweighs
merits
Correct pronoun usage
its merits
show examples
 of it. On
anaysis
Correct your spelling
analysis
 , it is possible that in the upcoming time period there will a nexus in the industrial field . So, one has to be aware of every policy and have to take decisions
accordingly
.
Submitted by gurmanpreetk77 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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