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Band 4

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
People have different ideas about how children should occupy their spare
time
. While some people argue that it is better for teenagers to spend their
time
 with
group
 tasks, others believe that sole activity is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 option. In my opinion, for youngsters
group
 activity more beneficial than they play whit themselves. It is undeniable that
group
 activities because
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 are important in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
child
Change noun form
child's
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 life.
Firstly
, they can learn how to communicate with peer groups that represent the small scale of society.
Therefore
, it
develop
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develops
show examples
 their social behaviour.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 they will learn how to help each other in
different
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a different
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. It means that
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 can prepare
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
skills
 for future tasks.
Moreover
, making a friend is
useful
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a useful
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 skill that by
team
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a team
the team
show examples
 working, they can promote it learn it how to behave with your same age’s
group
.
Finally
, it can be clearly seen that teenager can improve their ability
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some people argue that free
time
 activity should be unique for each
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 and by spending
time
 by themselves they can learn more
skills
. I accept that
,
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apply
show examples
 sometimes juveniles need to be done their work and it can help them to be independent and it lead to self-reliance.
In
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At
show examples
 the same
time
, because of loneliness they may get into depression and making fiend and socializing will be hard for them
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 with their family and
school mates
Correct your spelling
schoolmates
show examples
.
As a result
, these teenagers cannot adapt
with
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to
show examples
 society and prefer to stay in their own zone
instead
 of
attend
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attending
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 communities. In conclusion,
although
pediatrics
Change the spelling
paediatrics
show examples
 can improve a few
skills
 by playing themselves, many useful social
skills
 only can be reached
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
group
 activities that have
important
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an important
show examples
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 for child development.
Submitted by aref.badrouh2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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