IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
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People have different ideas about how children should occupy their spare
time
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. While some people argue that it is better for teenagers to spend their
time
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 with
group
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 tasks, others believe that sole activity is
better
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a better
the better
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 option. In my opinion, for youngsters
group
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 activity more beneficial than they play whit themselves. It is undeniable that
group
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 activities because
of
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for
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 many
reason
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reasons
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 are important in
the
Correct article usage
a
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child
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child's
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 life.
Firstly
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, they can learn how to communicate with peer groups that represent the small scale of society.
Therefore
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, it
develop
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develops
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 their social behaviour.
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Secondly
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,Secondly
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 they will learn how to help each other in
different
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a different
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situation
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situations
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. It means that
adolescent
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adolescents
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 can prepare
for
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apply
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social
skills
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 for future tasks.
Moreover
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, making a friend is
useful
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a useful
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 skill that by
team
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a team
the team
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 working, they can promote it learn it how to behave with your same age’s
group
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.
Finally
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, it can be clearly seen that teenager can improve their ability
by
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through
show examples
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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team work
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teamwork
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.
On the other hand
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, some people argue that free
time
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 activity should be unique for each
children
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child
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 and by spending
time
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 by themselves they can learn more
skills
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. I accept that
,
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apply
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 sometimes juveniles need to be done their work and it can help them to be independent and it lead to self-reliance.
In
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At
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 the same
time
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, because of loneliness they may get into depression and making fiend and socializing will be hard for them
that
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which
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result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in aggressive
behavior
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behaviour
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 with their family and
school mates
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schoolmates
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.
As a result
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, these teenagers cannot adapt
with
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to
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 society and prefer to stay in their own zone
instead
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 of
attend
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attending
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in
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to
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 communities. In conclusion,
although
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pediatrics
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paediatrics
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 can improve a few
skills
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 by playing themselves, many useful social
skills
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 only can be reached
by
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through
show examples
group
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 activities that have
important
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an important
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item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
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 for child development.
Submitted by aref.badrouh2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
What to do next:
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