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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
breakfast
Use synonyms
,
lunch
Use synonyms
,
dinner
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 consumed by
USA
Correct your spelling
US
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 citizens. Excessive consumption
with
Change preposition
of
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 any type of these nutrients may be detrimental to health. Generally speaking, Americans eat relatively healthier in their
breakfast
Use synonyms
 because lesser in
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Lunch
Use synonyms
 and
dinner
Use synonyms
contains
Change the verb form
contain
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 the highest portions in
sodium
Use synonyms
 and fat
while
Linking Words
snacks
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the highest
sugar
Use synonyms
 level. The first chart shows the daily consumption of
sodium
Use synonyms
.
Dinner
Use synonyms
 consists
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
significant ratio
43
Change preposition
of 43
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%
in
Change preposition
apply
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salt
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
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 29% in
lunch
Use synonyms
.
Snacks
Use synonyms
 and
breakfast
Use synonyms
 include
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
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 percentage which is 14%. The
second
Linking Words
 chart outlines the percentage of saturated fat,
dinner
Use synonyms
 has the highest fat which made up
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
37%,
lunch
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 contributes 26% followed by 21% in
snacks
Use synonyms
 and 16% in
breakfast
Use synonyms
. The
last
Linking Words
 chart describes added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in meals,
snacks
Use synonyms
 hold
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 figures in
sugar
Use synonyms
 which is 42%.
Dinner
Use synonyms
 takes up 23%
Use synonyms
sugar
Change preposition
of sugar
show examples
while
Linking Words
lunch
Use synonyms
 and
breakfast
Use synonyms
 contain 19% and 16% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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