IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter describe the complaints that have been made say why the reception area is important suggest how the reception area could be improved

#complaints #reception #area #visitors #company #manager
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There is an argument between the viewpoints of whether we need social welfare to support unemployed people or not. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 issue is related to the social
system
Use synonyms
 of a country, and there is a
third
Linking Words
 way to combine the advantages and disadvantages of the
two
Use synonyms
 systems.
Firstly
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,
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 security
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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 will cost too much
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money used on the unemployed population, which would be an overloaded responsibility for the network.
In addition
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, the welfare will
also
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 cause the dependency of the vulnerable groups, which
enlarge
Correct subject-verb agreement
enlarges
show examples
 the
two
Use synonyms
 extremes of society.
Then
Linking Words
 the vulnerable population would have less motivation to go back to the employment market. The
unstabled
Correct your spelling
unstable
show examples
 situation will be worse. We could find the cases in Hong Kong these years depending on the modification of the social security
system
Use synonyms
 policies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it causes a higher unemployment rate.
By contrast
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, the lower level of social security
system
Use synonyms
 will lead to a much more free market
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society, but it
also
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 could not avoid the structure of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 extremes of society. Particularly, the vulnerable groups will suffer more as well as the superior groups will possess more property without justice.
For example
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, many citizens migrate from the US to Canada due to the low level of social welfare in America.
However
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, there is
also
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 a
third
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 way considering the benefits and shortcomings of the
two
Use synonyms
 systems, and many countries and districts are evolving their social policies on
this
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 objective.
That is
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 designing the
system
Use synonyms
 with some inferior
system
Use synonyms
 to incent the
unimploy
Correct your spelling
unemployed
unemploy
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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • complaints
  • reception area
  • unwelcoming
  • signage
  • aesthetic appeal
  • directional signage
  • ticketing system
  • professionalism
  • feedback system
  • continuous improvement
  • welcoming atmosphere
  • efficient
  • clear signage
  • comfortable seating
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