Some people believe that children should be made disciplined by making them obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others, however, believe that those children who are controlled are not well-prepared to tackle the challenges life brings to them. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Change noun form
Children's
show examples
training has been the subject of debate in cultural diversity. While I personally believe it depends on different training families that
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
growing children and how their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
shape up. On the one hand, many commentators are of the view that there are some advantages to growing up our progeny under our
ruels
Correct your spelling
rules
. From their point of view, by
this
Linking Words
path, they get familiar with our terms
Correct your spelling
and conditions
andconditions
Correct your spelling
and conditions
. when they face some difficulties, can across
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
them and be successful.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
you are entrancing to university, so you are
new comer
Correct your spelling
newcomer
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
new place. Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
having
veriaty
Correct your spelling
variety
problems, they would be acceptable because of
finest
Correct article usage
the finest
show examples
training that you have had
Correct your spelling
before
bofore
Correct your spelling
before
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
those subscribe to the view that children who
controlled
Add a missing verb
are controlled
show examples
by
Correct your spelling
elderly
olderly
Correct article usage
the olderly
show examples
not be successful in the contemporary world. they argue that their self-confidence has been gotten by
this
Linking Words
method.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
cruel
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
nobody pay attention to each other. So, You can not do any task lonely because your self-esteem had been missed. To sum up, I would argue that we should go ahead
appropriate
Change preposition
with appropriate
show examples
method in line
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
society education
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
we will be seen
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of pride in our
Change the capitalization
Kidman's
show examples
kidman`s
Change noun form
kids'
show examples
faces.
Submitted by design.graphist on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: