IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people are losing the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #computers #ability #face
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It has been a controversial topic when it comes to whether
people
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 are losing the ability of
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face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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face
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Correct your spelling
communication
communicaiton
Correct your spelling
communication
 because they are using smartphones and
computers
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 all the time. In my opinion, due to the frequency of using smartphones
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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getting higher, the skill of
communicate
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communicating
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 with real
people
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 affected.
First
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 and foremost, it is obvious to see that
advance
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advanced
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 technology
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the opportunity to talk with each other
face
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 to
face
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. To be more specific, you can rely on a cell phone to deal with everything in daily life.
Instead
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 of going out to shop or eat, now you can order whatever you want and they will be delivered to your house by using the applications on the phone.
Consequently
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, there are much less interpersonal
communications
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communication
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 in daily life
such
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 as asking
people
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 for help between
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strangers
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stranges
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strangers
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, friends or even between families. As time passes,
people
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 are accustomed to using
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
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phone
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phones
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 to type words and lose the skill of interpersonal
communication
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. Admittedly, it is more efficient to talk to
people
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 via cell phones and
computers
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. You can talk to someone wherever you want as long as you get the internet.
However
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication
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 via
the
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apply
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phones and
computers
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 so flat that
people
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 gradually lose their
ablities
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abilities
 to
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comprehend
comprehand
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comprehend
 the emotions and body
languages
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language
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 of others, which is very uncommon to see in the past eras without these digital devices.
Moreover
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, the sincere atmosphere of
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face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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face
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communication
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 can narrow the gap between
people
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 and take the conversation to a higher level, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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online
communication
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 cannot reach. In conclusion, I believe the increasing
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people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
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 using cell phones and
computers
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 to communicate is a reason why
people
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 losing their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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of
Change preposition
in
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 interpersonal
communication
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by so163uh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • interpersonal skills
  • overreliance
  • digital communication platforms
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • social bonds
  • enhance
  • bridging long distances
  • fostering connections
  • age groups
  • adept
  • integrating
  • landscape
  • emotional intelligence
  • nuances
  • striking a balance
  • limitations
What to do next:
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