IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. Some claim that this has negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #food #effect #families #societies
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These days
people
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 place a premium on
food
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. Traditional
food
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 is being replaced by fast
food
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. Some
people
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 think that
,
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this
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 change Has had a negative
effect
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 on both families and societies while others argue that, it hasn’t had an ill
effect
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. I completely opine that; it has spell trouble. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 view. To embark, to advance a convincing theory, I could deal with its effects.
First
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 of all, junk foods have a knock-on
effect
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 on our health.
For instance
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, it was written in a report that the average life length has decreased. On top of that, each fast
food
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food
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leads to 5 surgeons and 3 dentists.
As a result
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, we have a society full of sick
people
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.
In addition
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 to what I have just said, the ingredients that are used in these foods are unhealthy. They use their oil more than once. While
on the other hand
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, homemade
food
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 contains different things that are essential for our bodies.
Moreover
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, traditional foods are really delicious. On top of that, it brings the family together to have that
food
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 with each other. In forthcoming sentences, I could deal with the positive
effect
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 of fast
food
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food
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.
Although
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 their disadvantages overweigh their advantages, their benefits are essential these days. Due to the lack of time
people
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 prefer to have these meals. On top of that, it is cheaper.
Additionally
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, you don’t need to wash the dishes so you can hang out with your family and friends. To conclude, all in all, it has a bad
effect
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 on family and society. Family members need more time before dying to spend together.
Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • nutritional value
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart diseases
  • family mealtime traditions
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • culinary skills
  • homogenization
  • globalization
  • convenient
  • accessible meals
  • traditional cuisine
  • fast-paced lifestyle
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