IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples of necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
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It is often argued that
work
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 with huge remuneration is of greater priority than the fulfilment it brings. I completely disagree with
this
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 opinion and think that
work
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 satisfaction is much more essential than a big wage.
First
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 of all, I believe that being satisfied with one's
job
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 gives a sense of fulfilment and pleasure regardless of the money being paid. Despite the huge wage, the joy and contentment derived cannot be quantified.
For example
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, I once heard a story of a top manager in a multinational company who was frustrated with his
job
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 even though he was highly paid . He always feels tense and compromises with his conscience
hence
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 he had to tender his resignation letter. It is
therefore
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 important to take a profession
that is
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 appealing rather than the big salary it promises.
Secondly
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, being passionate about your profession keeps you motivated and always seeking opportunities for career and personal development.
Furthermore
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, satisfaction at a place of
work
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 results in productivity and contentment that money cannot give .
For instance
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, as an eye care professional, the joy of saving the sight of my patients and the huge smile on their faces motivated me to gain more knowledge and skills which resulted in greater productivity far beyond what a high wage can give .
Thus
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 advantages of a fulfilled
job
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 far outweigh the big pay. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that big pay is highly significant than
job
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 satisfaction because the contentment one's profession gives makes people joyful and motivated. So ,
therefore
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, it's very important to choose the kind of
work
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 that makes you happy than to look only at high earnings.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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