IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some places, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Our diet is becoming increasingly unhealthy.
This
Linking Words
 is reflected in the fact that cheap, fast
food
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and sugary drinks are now found in many shops around the world.
However
Linking Words
, the low prices and convenience come at a
cost
Use synonyms
. Undoubtedly, the easy access to prepared meals and canned drinks has some advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 is abundant because it appeals to our taste buds. People would not eat it so often if they did not enjoy it. The low
cost
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 means that people on a lower income can afford to feed their families, and it is made even more appealing because it
also
Linking Words
 saves time in the kitchen. There are
also
Linking Words
 now so many big businesses based on producing
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 and drink that many workers are dependent on the selling or making of it, and
this
Linking Words
 industry is a key employer of many
Add a hyphen
lower-income
show examples
lower income
Add a hyphen
lower-income
show examples
 families. These advantages show that
this
Linking Words
 development is likely to continue for some time.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the negative effects are significant. The low
cost
Use synonyms
 of fast
food
Use synonyms
 means that it has become more of a staple diet for many people. It is widely acknowledged that processed and sugary foods are unhealthy, so their widespread consumption is concerning.
Such
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 contains many additives, offers little nutrition, and is largely seen as responsible for the growing obesity problems around the world.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are links to diabetes, all of which affects the economy as well as
putting
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
 pressure on the healthcare system. Ultimately, the problems associated with
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 have an impact on everyone. In conclusion, the availability, convenience, and appeal of
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 mean that it is likely to be here to stay.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the long-term health effects show that, on the whole,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development. Finding a way to increase the
cost
Use synonyms
 would go some way to solving
this
Linking Words
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: