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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Children's educaton is expensive. In some countries the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#children #educaton #countries #government #costs
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Education
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 has been increasing in importance.
Education
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 might be expensive in certain countries. I believe it. Every single person needs to be educated.but some of them can't  All benefit from
education
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.If the
government
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 spent
money
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 on their
education
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, it would benefit.
such
Linking Words
 as saving
money
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 and encouraging the
children
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 must save
money
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 for their future if the
government
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 gives sufficient scholarships. It affects
people
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's lives.
People
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 can easily reach every
school
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, even if they are poor. It improves the
education
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 system.
This
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 improvement increases the percentage of
people
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 who have got a certificate.My father hadn't finished
school
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 if they were expensive. 
Secondly
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, the
government
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 should pay some of the cost. It is necessary because it improves
people
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's morals.
People
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 can afford it if the
government
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 does not foot the bill.
In addition
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, it's necessary for the improvement of the country.
People
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 can be educated and even attend
school
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 without free
education
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.
Children
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 are the future of
this
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 country. They represent their country. Their
education
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 is essential. My nephew is 10 years old. His family hasn't got enough
money
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, but the
government
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 pays her
school
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 costs so she can go to
school
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 and get an
education
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.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is an advantage due to encouraging
children
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 to be educated and increasing concertation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they like their jobs so much. They have been closely connected to the
school
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.Their curiosity is increasing because of free
education
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.
For example
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,
children
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 have no fee
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 because their
school
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 is free. They focus on their
education
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 and job improvement.
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
education
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 expenses  might be  expensive.
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
  must do something  to   preserve   that.it has to be
ensure
Wrong verb form
ensured
show examples
  every single  can  afford to go to
school
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  without paying 
Add an article
a fee
the fee
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
. in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 advantage for every single 
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children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
. it will affect  positively  their  life.
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
  recently every
sıngle
Correct your spelling
single
 person
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
  to be
literated
Correct your spelling
literate
liberated
. if 
school
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 fee is
inaffordable
Correct your spelling
unaffordable
in affordable
affordable
   
children
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cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
  attend 
school
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 and it 
afffect
Correct your spelling
affect
  negatively  their lifestyle.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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