Some people believe that adults get motivated to exercise and play sports because of the major sports events on TV such as the Olympic Games and football World cup. Others say that there are many ways apart from TV to encourage them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
have different views about the effects of different factors on motivating individuals to do sports. While a group of
people
believe that watching athletes doing
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities in media can encourage them to exercise, another part of society say that a great range of element beyond
TV
content can lead a
person
to exercise. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
TV
can affect a great proportion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
positively and persuade them to train. On the one hand, there is an opinion asserting that watching
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
games on
TV
has a
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
effect and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can inspire grown-ups to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
.
This
can
be occurred
Change to the active voice
occur
show examples
because
people
tend to emulate their role models.
That is
to say, they try to copy the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and acts of the
person
whom they admire. A good illustration of
that is
when the original Ronaldo
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
unveiled his new weird
Correct your spelling
hairstyle
show examples
hair style
Correct your spelling
hairstyle
show examples
in
2002
Correct article usage
the 2002
show examples
World cup competition, it became very popular among young
people
around the world.
This
in turn
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
that prime
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events produce effects on the different aspect of
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
Moreover
,
people
allocate a great proportion of their day hours
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
television nowadays. Watching
TV
as a consistent activity of modern life would provide the capability of impacting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
personal life routine including exercising habits. Take watching aerobic training classes on TVs as
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
example
that is
becoming very popular among
Correct your spelling
housewives
show examples
house wives
Correct your spelling
housewives
show examples
these days.
On the other hand
, others put forward the argument that there are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various array of approaches to influence
people
to start training.
That is
, individuals around a
person
have an important role in what is a
person
totally.
For example
,
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
of parents on children couldn’t be considered negligible. So, it could be more important in pushing
people
to exercise than
TV
programs.
In addition
, many
people
have intrinsic abilities and capabilities that may lead them to be better athletes. It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
sense when
Submitted by ansarimaryam on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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