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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

people now have freedom to live and work anywhere in the world due to the development in the communication and transportation. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Due to
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 the development of
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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,
people
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 can work wherever they want;
however
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, there are some merits and demerits of
this
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 trend, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First,
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you can gain more life
experience
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. Take me as an example. I used to work in China, and I found a
job
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 in Germany
last
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 year. I believe
such
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 an
experience
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 is vital to me, not only because I can get in touch with different
people
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;
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,
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 but
also
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 because I can
experience
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 a completely different culture. At
this
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 point, my life
experience
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 has been enriched, and I have met many nice
people
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. It's worth mentioning
my
Correct word choice
that my
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 current wages are much higher than my
last
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job
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;
therefore
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, I would say the salary is
also
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 an essential factor.
Second,
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it's about the living standards. It's commonplace that hundreds and thousands of
people
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 want to move and live in big cities because they have the best resources,
such
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 as good hospitals and schools. In
this
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 case, changing jobs is a great chance to move to a big city. Take my cousin as an example. He was born in a small town but moved to Shanghai
last
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 year. It can be seen that his horizons have been broadened, and his living standards have improved.
On the other hand
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, changing jobs rapidly has some disadvantages too.
For example
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,
It's
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it's
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 hard to start a new life in a new city. It's possible that your new
job
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 is in a city that you have never been to before; you don't have any friends or family members there, and you must rely on yourself. At
this
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 point, it seems challenging for some
people
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 like me. In conclusion, changing
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job
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jobs
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 rapidly has some merits and demerits.

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content
Give more safe balance: write more about both good and bad sides and end with a clear view.
development
Add more main ideas and explain them well for each side.
style
Use short, clear and easy words. Keep to basic grammar and simple sentences.
grammar
Check your grammar and punctuation, especially long sentences and semicolons.
structure
Clear start with a plan and a closing.
evidence
Gives real life examples to support points.
coherence
Uses linking words to move ideas.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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