IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries some agree that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way.

#punishment #countries #agree #parents #right #children
In some
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
guiders
punishing
Wrong verb form
punish
show examples
the youngsters physically . which is legally not allowed
However
 some individuals believe that minors should be punished
via
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bodily. I completely disagree with
this
 statement , In the upcoming ,paragraph I would like to represent its disagree aspects. To embark with , some
guiders
 punish their children via bodily Which is
wors
Correct article usage
a wors
show examples
.t method. To elaborate it, sometimes physical punishment hurts younger psychologically and bodily
moreover
 the finest way for them to realise their mistake via teaching them
moreover
guiders
 can
also
 give them proper attention and guidance ,
for instance
, In
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 most of the youngers are facing depression problem
ofbecause
Correct your spelling
because
of because
 lack of parents understanding and observations.
Furthermore
, In some ,nations it is illicit to beat minors because in their opinion
guiders
 should teach them with calm words and action. To elaborate it, younger might be aware of hood habits rather than bas
moreover
,If they follow the right path it is
carrier
Add an article
a carrier
the carrier
show examples
 for them to away from bad surroundings. To sum up, some people think that
beat
Wrong verb form
beating
show examples
 the children
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
 is the best way to not attract with bad behaviour or thing because it is the illegal way.
Submitted by Nikitaepic03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: